Technical Difficulties (A Flash Fanfic) (Complete)

Stupid Pillow (Cisco's POV)

I don't remember exactly what it was that had brought me to stand at her door. I was lying in bed, lights turned off and staring at the ceiling just waiting for sleep to reach out and consume me. My mind had other plans. It forced me to think of Leah (as it usually does), all the good moments and bad. And I did doze off only slightly as I replayed certain moments in my mind:

The day I met her, she wore a faded blue blouse, a black skirt, and a pair of black flats. Her hair was in a high ponytail, and if I were to judge her by her looks (which I did), I would've assumed she was nothing like me. Ironic, right? "Hi, I'm Leah Raymond!"

When I first found that she understood my movie references. "Oh! I love the Princess Bride!"

When she first laughed at one of my jokes, I could've sworn I had almost choked on my heart as it tried to leave my chest.

The time we first hung out outside of work. She giggled a lot that day, she was so happy. "Cisco, Ronnie and Caitlin are throwing a barbeque later, you should come!"

The day I realized I like her? Jitters. She was trying to choose a pastry. "Cake pop or cinnamon roll?" Bent over, looking at the choices. I told her she should just get both and her face lit up like I had just told her the meaning of life. "This is why you're my best friend." That's what she told me. But I was standing there, realizing how screwed I was, because I was falling for those blue eyes and that smile so hard, and trying to figure out if and how I should tell Ronnie.

I never did.

The time Caitlin told us that we should just date each other when Cait and Ronnie wanted to go on a group date but neither Leah nor I were seeing anyone. I was secretly waiting for her. Ronnie didn't seem too pleased with the idea. Caitlin was grinning from ear to ear as if she had just discovered something new. She did. I knew she knew at that moment. I don't know if she ever told Ronnie. "Cait, we're just friends!" That one did hurt a little.

And so I sat back and admired her from afar. She was definitely the longest crush I've ever had. I liked her for a good year, and then the particle accelerator exploded...

It was hard not to see her. Not to know how she was doing. Hard not to talk to her every morning like we usually did. As I laid there in bed, looking up at the ceiling that traced shadows from the cars that drove by the window, it hit me then. I mean, I think I've known for a while, I just wasn't sure how to put it into words. She was my best friend's twin sister. My best friend. My co-worker. Someone I see every single day, so why hadn't I known it sooner?

Do I have to say it? Should I say it? Get it off my chest. Go for it.

"I'm in love with her."

My voice echoed in the silence and I flinched out of habit, hoping no one heard me even though no one lives with me. I was hoping it would help relieve the tension in me, but it didn't. Of course it didn't. I didn't tell anyone, just the atmosphere, which probably just soaked up my words and let them disappear. I bit my lip, though. I wasn't sure I wanted to tell anyone. I didn't know what I wanted.