PCD || Muke ✓

twenty-three

Michael felt as if whole world was crumbling around him. He had to be on stage in less than twenty minutes but honestly he felt like he'd rather die than go. The one thing that made him happy was triggering his depression now.

He could just imagine the thousands of eyes staring at him and being judged for his every move. He could mess up, his voice would crack, he could play the wrong notes. It was putting so much stress on him to do everything perfectly but it wasn't possible.

Michael wasn't good at playing his instrument. He couldn't sing. He didn't even understand why he had fans. He'd mess up and it'd be all over social media and everything would go horribly. He was awful. Michael knew these thoughts were poisonous but he couldn't help it. Music wasn't his safe space anymore.

"Hey! Are you ready for the show today?" Lacey asked. She came up behind her band mate and hugged him tightly, jolting Michael out of his thoughts.

"Yeah! I definitely am Lace! I'm so excited to play Tampa tonight. It's going to be so hot but great," Michael said happily. He smiled cheekily and Lacey smiled with him.

It was so easy for him to fake his emotion.

Luke seemed to be the only one that noticed how bad he was truly getting and that scared him. His own band mates couldn't tell because he had choked down his fear of having to go back to the mental hospital and replaced it with a smiling, living boy that was dead on the inside.

"We'll be in Orlando tomorrow and then Disney! It's so exciting," Lacey said and Michael nodded his head, portraying a false sense of contentment.

"I can't wait to ride the rides and see all the characters! If I don't see Eeyore I'll cry," Michael said.

"I'll make sure that we go as a band," Lacey confirmed, knowing that they'd have a lot of FastPasses to blow.

"We have to see Peter Pan too or I'm quitting the band," a familiar voice said.

Michael felt a giant weight land on his lap and was soon met face to face with Calum. The tan boy leaned back and rested his weight on both of his band members and Michael shifted so that they were both comfortable.

"This is going to be a good show. I can feel it," Calum said.

Michael gulped but nodded his head anyways. He had a feeling in the pit of his stomach that everything would go wrong.

"Will you excuse me? I'm going to talk to Luke quickly," Michael explained. He pushed Calum's upper body off of his lower body and started his search for Luke.

He knew the blonde would be in the dressing room next to his so he followed the familiar path and made his way into the room. Luke was laying on the couch, looking down at his phone as the other three were playing some type of video game or snacking.

"Hey Luke! Can we talk?" Michael asked softly. He stayed in the doorway to await his response. Luke looked up from his phone and nodded his head. He set his phone on the bedside table and made his way to the smaller boy.

Michael walked to a dead end in the hallway and Luke met him there.

"What are you doing here? You guys go on in like five minutes!" Luke said, hugging the boy in a comforting manor. He assumed something was up but wasn't about to push it out of the small boy when he had a job to do in five minutes.

"I'm just a bit nervous," Michael said. He wasn't about to go in huge detail but he knew that Luke would somewhat understand.

"Don't worry about it. You'll do great. I know you will."

***

Michael did not do great. His anxiousness got to the best of him and he cried on stage. It was in the middle of 'Butterfly Kiss' and completely sobbed in front of everyone. He couldn't finish the song so Calum stepped in and helped.

He had quickly run off stage and didn't stop until he was locked away in his hotel room, not stopping for anyone. Luke had tried to stop him but he pushed right past him.

He knew something would go wrong. He always messed things up.

Michael collapsed onto his bed and pulled the pillow close to his chest. Tears willingly started to stream down his face and he stayed there for the rest of the night. He heard knocks on his door throughout the night but didn't bother to go up and answer the person who was behind it.

He felt so sad and so alone.

***

I literally wrote 90% of this in 4th bell and just finished.

ANYWAYS ILL BE UPDATING THIS AGAIN TONIGHT OR SATURDAY. I WOULD SUNDAY BUT IN MEETING BETHANY 1995mgc THAT DAY AND WERE SEEING DAN AND PHIL AND ITS SO CUTE AND IM SO EXCITED

ok other thank that I'll update soon

-Lee