The Sexy Billionaire

Twenty Four

November 14th

Sunday morning. It was snowing, quite heavily and i, for once, were beginning to feel the pain of losing someone whom i dearly love once again. Eun Suh. And last night Hyo Rin.

Last night, i left the family dinner with full of regret and anger. I couldnt help myself to say it in front of my parents since according to my brother earlier, mom' heart condition deteriorates for the last few weeks and since then, nobody would want to upset her in any way. Attending the dinner as well, was Ye Jin and her family who kept looking at me apologetically. How and when they found out about it, i didnt stay to know the answer.
Around 9p.m. i reached the park nearby her apartment and kept a lookout for her. But she was already there. Swaying back and forth on the sing, she looked very much excited. I tried to cheer myself up but i must had failed. When i approached her, she greeted me enthusiastically at first but i think it was my face that gave me away, she asked me what was wrong.
"Can i get a hug?" I asked her.
She hugged me and i hold onto her tight.
"Can we stay like this?" I asked her.
"Out here? Its snowing, i dont think i want to freeze to death," she giggled.
"We wont if we stay together," i said to her with a smile,"I think our body heat could melt a medium sized snowman."
"Hey, ajusshi, whats wrong? You look so down," Hyo Rin asked again. My attempt to divert her attention obviously not working. My mind and my heart were having a huge debate in me. Should i tell her? Could i tell her? How would she react? Of course she would be mad, stupid. My consciousness scolded me.
"Hyo Rin, I-"
She moved away from me, taking a few steps back, she said,"I know the routine. We need to talk."
"Not really," i said. She was anxious and nervous at the same time and for the second time, i saw fear in her eyes.
"Then?"
"Im getting married," i said and even though her face looked blank and she did a wonderful job keeping her poker face intact, but her eyes gave her away.
"Congratulations," she said, forcing herself to smile,"When did this happen?"
"Just now. Its an arranged marriage and i swear i didnt know about this," i explained as i tried to grab a hold of her hand but Hyo Rin backed away from me further,"Dont go. Not now, please."
"So, who's the bride?" She asked, fiddling her fingers, trying to keep an eye contact.
"I had no choice. My mom's heart condition is deteriorating and any news that would make her upset could kill her," i explained, moving closer to her but once again, she backed away from me. It hurts me more to see you like this, i thought to myself.
"I really had no choice," i added,"Trust me."
"I was beginning to," Hyo Rin said softly.
"I-"
She held up her hand,"Dont apologise. Just dont say that you're sorry. Stop saying im sorry."
"But i am!" I snapped,"You think i wanted this to happen? You think that i would be happy marrying someone else? I love you, Hyo Rin. If you think that i am thrilled marrying her, then fine!"
"I was hoping that you would realised that sooner," she said tearfully.
My ego urged me to walk away. So i did. I didnt glance over my shoulder, headed back to my car and drove away angrily. Serve her right, my ego said to me. I hit the brakes hard upon reaching the traffic light and made a u-turn once i realised what i had done. It was i who walked away this time and the last time before Eun Suh died, it was i who walked way. Not wanting to repeat the same mistake, i drove back to the park and i saw her. She was still there. But wasnt alone. In Jin Hyuk's arm, i felt foolish. It was who was suppose to be hugging her that way. But i left. I watched Jin Hyuk caressing her hair and they walked back together to the apartment. Foolish of me for not trying hard enough to make her understand and i knew that she felt like she was being used for sex. No baby, it was never like that. Not even close. I must had loved her for quite sometime but i was such a fool not too realised it sooner.
This morning, i was able to see the other side of her. An innocent goddess.
Completely heartbroken, i had no choice but to go back home, where my brother was waiting for me.
I must had cried without realising it when my brother asked me what was wrong. What had happened.
My knees went weak. Buckled and i was on the floor all fours.
"I lost her," i said and that was all i could managed. My sister in law who was there as well was shocked to see me. My brother gave me encouraging pat and my sister in law hugged me to give me comfort.
"I lost her," i repeated but more to myself. Both husband and wife were lost for words. My sister that came shortly were the same. They exchanged looks as i went straight to bed. Closing the door behind me, i fell onto the floor again.

As much as i hoped for it to be a bad dream, it was reality and the pain was even more hurtful. The look on her face ; disappointment, heartbroken, betrayed. It was latched into my brain.
My sister came by and asked me out for some breakfast but i politely declined. Usually, she insisted but this time, i appreciate her for not badgering me. But she did stay over, lingering around the house and i knew that she just want to accompany me. Ye Jin stopped by some time around tea time.
"Im sorry, Jong Kook, but i didnt ask for any of this to happen as well," Ye Jin explained.
"It was unexpected, yes," i said automatically,"But its okay. We'll go on with it. Our parents are expecting very much of it."
"I know that you don't love me, Jong Kook," Ye Jin said,"As for me, our feelings are mutual. I like you but only as friend."
"Its okay, Ye Jin," i said to her.
I watched her leave and my sister came over to me and said,"You dont have to do this, just to please mom, you know? I disobeyed every single family rules ever since i was a kid. You know me."
"Rules and her heart's condition are two completely different thing, nuna," i said,"But thank you. For coming over."
"Anytime."