Twenty Nine

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January 1st

For almost a week, i had been keeping myself busy around the house. The lawn looked neat and tidy, so does the backyard. Finally.
Despite the snow, i was finally satisfied with the current look of my house.
New year.
Usually, at this time of the year i would go out with Jin Hyuk and we would drink and eat all sorts of new year dishes that his mom made. I somehow regretted for not joining him but, there were perks of being alone. I get to keep my mind off things with housework and i get to rearranged the furniture in the living room. I never realised that the tv could be extremely heavy. I just leave it that way.
My arms and my legs were sore for the last few days but i started to feel some pain below my abdomen. It went away eventually, must be the soreness since i did try to lift the tv up.
But then, i started to feel the pain ever since yesterday. Dismissing it completely, i made some light snacks while at it. An idea came over me, i took my phone and snapped a photo of my food. I was proud of myself for coming up with a well balanced healthy snack for once. I sent the picture over to Jin Hyuk, await for his reply.
My phone rang and it wasn't Jin Hyuk but the same unknown number. It had been a week since this person tried to call me so badly.
Who the hell it might be.
"Hello?" I answered the call.
But silence. Just the sound of a heavy breathing.
"Hello?" Once again but this time, i dropped the politeness,"If you dont want to talk, stop-"
"Hyo Rin?" A familiar voice that my heart skipped a beat. A familiar voice that once my stomach fluttered. A familiar voice that once i loved and missed.
"Ajusshi?"
"Ive been trying to call you. Why didnt you answer any of my calls?" Jong Kook asked.
"You changed your number?" I asked again,"How am i suppose to answer a phone call from an unknown number?"
"Well, good point," Jong Kook said sheepishly,"How are you, Hyo Rin?"
"Im okay," i said,"Congratulations on your wedding by the way. Must be nice, getting married on a New Year's eve."
"Hyo Rin, I-"
"You're newly wed. And you called me? I dont think thats a good idea, ajusshi," i ranted on, not giving him any chance to speak at all for i knew that he would want to apologize to me. Sorry sorry sorry.
"Hyo Rin, let me-"
"Goodbye, ajusshi," i hung up immediately.
God. I felt like i had been running for a marathon. Panting hard, i never felt so nervous. Why? No idea and i didnt want to figure it out. Jong Kook called me again but this time i left my phone rang. Once it stopped, i turned it into vibrate mode and let it vibrate on the coffee table in front of me. I only took it when Jin Hyuk's reply came in.

Jin Hyuk : Oh!! You made it yourself? Nice work!
I typed out a reply saying,"Of course i did. Thanks to lots of tv watching. Esp the food channel."
Jin Hyuk : Cant wait for you to make some for me. I miss you, Hyo Rin.
I sent him a few laughing emojis and a thumbs up.

I went back to my tv watching as i ate my snack. When i looked at the time, it was 6.30p.m. i knew that i would be definitely full for dinner but nevermind. Its not i eat on time. I snacked a lot lately and at night, i ate more than usual. This morning, i didnt feel any nauseous, thank heavens. I ditched the peppermint tea and started to drink some milk instead. At first, the smell of the milk could be make me barf but i forced myself to drink it. Kept telling myself that i wasnt for me alone. In the end, i wont be able to drink anything else but milk. A bought at least ten cartons of milk a few days ago and i only have two left.
The pain below my abdomen came back. Ditching my snack, i searched for painkillers in the cupboard but stopped momentarily. Would it have any effects? I couldnt call Jin Hyuk for i know that he would freak out, definitely. I couldnt call Ye Jin, she didnt know anything about my condition. She might ask who's the father and i couldnt bring myself to tell her.
I stepped out to the backyard, getting some fresh air. The winter breeze was crisped and chilly. I felt slightly better. I sat on the swing which i had spray with some anti rust and it stopped creaking as i swayed back and forth.
My phone vibrated once again and Jong Kook's number flashed across the screen.
I ignored his calls at first until the 15th called finally hits a nerve.
"Stop calling me!" I said, half shouting through the mic.
"I will if you just try to listen to me!" He answered back,"God! Why is it so hard to talk to you?"
"Its not hard really. There's a solution for it ; stop calling me."
"Fat chance, baby," he said.
"And.. Dont baby me," i said but with effort. I almost fell off from the swing. The pain below my abdomen were beginning to become unbearable. I hung up the phone and tried to walk back into the house but, then, it was so painful. I was on fours on the snowy ground. A dark circle that were beginning to form somewhere underneath my knees, i couldnt make it what was it but from an instinct, i somehow knew that it was blood.
No. No. No. No!!
I cried, trying to get up but the sharp pain seemed to be affecting my legs. I couldnt move and i was on the ground. The night sky was ahead of me.
"Help," i only could muttered those words. Nobody would be able to hear me. That was when i heard footsteps and my name was called. Was it Jin Hyuk? I knew he would come.
"My baby," were my last words before everything turned black.

Dressed in my usual clothing, i was at home. Not the home that i recognised though. It slightly larger and the furnishing were the ones that my mom would have.
Mom? No. It cant be.
My mother, in he usual baby blue apron, smiled at me.
"You've grown beautifully, dearest," she said to me. I couldnt help myself but to hug her and wept.
"Im sorry. Im so sorry," i said to her between my sobs.
"Oh dont be honey," she said, consoling me,"Im the who should be apologizing to you. I wasnt there when you graduated. I wasnt there for you during you first break up. I wasnt there for you, during your troubled times. Im the one who should be apologizing to you."
"A lawyer in the family?" My dad's voice was heard and there he was. In his once i called ugly sweater, and jeans, he smiled at me too. I hugged him next and sobbed even harder.
"Please dont cry," he said to me,"Like i said, we have no absolute control on life and death. Dont be sad with our departure. I always knew that our time was limited. But yours, darling, still got a long way ahead of you. Im so proud of you."
"Where's-"
There was my brother. In his so called chick magnet casual look, i hugged him too,"I miss you so much."
"Dont be. We were never stray to far from you, Hyo Rin," he said.
"We're always in here," my mom said, placing her palm on my chest, directly on my heart.
Wait. Was this the day dream that i had? Looks like it. I turned around to see who the little footsteps belongs to. I fell onto my knees. The little boy the resembled him and somewhat me, was in front of me. He wiped away my tears and shook his head, asking me to stop crying. He gave me quick hug and rejoined my mom.
"We'll be always right here," my dad said. That was it. I fell somehow into an endless pit and i woke up with a start.

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