Lifeless [ #wattys2016]

defeating the demon

I expected to see God on the other side not my other self.

Even though I wasn't religious, I didn't lead a bad life. I never harmed anyone or did anything out of line. So where are the angles? Where is the man in the white robe descending from the clouds? Why is it pitch black and it's only me and my other half?

"Couldn't get rid of me even when your dead." she spoke

I didn't respond. I looked around but was met with the same darkness. I couldn't be trapped with myself. Not again. Aggressive words were tickling my throat wanting to be freed but terror, hopelessness and shame had gripped me. I couldn't even die in peace. I was my own nightmare.

It's spider like legs walked close to me. All the while it's eyes never leaving me. It's head slanted in a acute angle, it's needle teeth barring at me with black tar coming out of the sides and dripping vanishing with the darkness surrounding us. I couldn't move. I was again motionless. Survival instinct turned off.

"I'm going to destroy you. And you want to know how?" she asked innocently

Even if I wanted to respond I couldn't. fear gripped my throat.

"I am going to destroy you by pointing out every little flaw you have. Tormenting you with new ones that you don't even know." she said darkly

I managed to say no but it was so meek It didn't travel beyond my lips.

"It's all your fault you know." It said mock sadly

"No it's not" I justified 

"If you never met Aiden, then none of this would have happened" she pointed out

I gripped my head wanting to block out her words.

"I didn't chose to!" I shouted

"If you never were born your parent would be here"

My heart encased on itself at that last resort. That was the tip of the ice berg.

"That's not true." My voice didn't hold much conviction. Every word trembling

"But it is". she whispered next to me ear. I jumped back creating as much distance as possible.

"You know it is." It whispered next to my ear. I flung my arms out trying to hit it away from my ear, my eyes darting around trying to locate the voice but it was gone. I was alone.

She's right. I am the cause. All these events started with me. I thought

White would have been a perfect colour right about now. something to show me that I was wrong.

I sank to the floor finally understanding that this would be my new life. Death.

I didn't want to be dead I thought. I am going to defeat myself. This isn't my fault. new positive thoughts thrashed in my head. I have to live. A new feeling flooded me from the inside out. Live.

The other me came back. "Oh so you have found some confidence, that's cute." It said mockingly

"I am not going to succumb to you." I said fiercely

"We will just have to see about that". It said menacingly and it charged at me

I wasn't afraid. I was ready.

Both running to each other with so much force. I could see her face crumble. she showed uncertainty. I showed power, strength. She wasn't sure. I was sure. She wasn't ready. I was ready. We collided with each other both throwing hits and punches. I made it through whilst small pixels of my other self-floated into the darkness. I won. Everything was still, till the darkness dissolved into grey. The darkness was getting lifted and light was getting through.

My eyes opened, I was inhaling oxygen like it was a drug. The monitor going off like crazy.  I was met with white walls and the noise faded, a small smile creeped onto my face. I had defeated the demon inside of me.

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authors note:

guys I updated woo. so what do you lot think of Tara breath through. what an emotional roller coaster .

guys please comment , vote and share it. so I know your thoughts . it would mean a lot.

thanks to all my new followers as well :)

signed : precious x