You & I

getting ready

today was the day of the teen choice awards i was pretty excited but everytime i thought i was happy the whole breast cancer thing came back again! i wasnt really dealing with it well. all the boys new about it now, but hanna still didnt and i am planning on keeping it that way for a bit longer! today at the TCA'S Niall and i decided i would tell the world and after the award show mum is coming to america for a few days for some work thing so i plan on telling her tonight aswell. its a pretty nerve wrecking night!

i have had no contact with any doctors whilst i have been here and thats how i want it to stay!

to the TCA'S im wearing a cream dress that goes mid thigh, a pair of blue vans and mathching sunglasses (coz its sunny!) i always wore vans, they are my fav shoes ever and i was casual so a nice dress with vans was nice for me! ( A/N there is a lnk thing d\for her outfite, it comes up just under the cover picture saying  external link)

"mills we have to starts getting ready " el said coming into my room 

"ok, where are the boys" i say putting a small smile on my glum face

"they are in mine and louis' room getting their hair done" el said giving me the sympathetic look

"oh" i reply 

she smiles and walks out. hanna was in the shower washing her hair. me and her decided on a white cream dress with a black collar and black pumps for her, the dress was super cute!

"millie im finished can you please do my hair?" hanna shouts from the bathroom

"lou said she would do yer hair for you" i shout back

"oh ok, when?" hanna says coming into the living room where i was sitting.

"i dont know come with me and we will see" i say grabbing hold of her and taking her to the room the boys were in.

"emm lou hanna here was wondering when her she was getting her hair done" shit that came out rudely, i shook my head and lou just smiled

"here you can pop on the chair now and make Niall wait yea?" she smiles

"ok" hope answers

i walk out Niall following me behind.

"hey babe" he says

i just smile  back at him.

"right mills i know you have just been givin the worst news of your life..."

"no the worst news of my life was when my little sister died! im not dead yet!" i say butting in.

this whole cancer thing has been getting me really angry lately and i think even hanna has seen that. i have been trying to be as calm and ok about it but i dont know its just the whole i could die thing i guess, of course being the person i am i wont tell anybody any of this! i think it makes me look weak and for this to make me look weak would just show that i really am weak.

"well it's the worst news of my life then! to think that the person i love and care about the most in the world could not be here in a few years seriously make me want to cry, until there are no tears left. you have no idea how heartbreaking this is for me and for el, sara and jo! josie phoned me last night in tears about how she thought that you wernt getting any treatment and you were just letting yourself die! i know for a fact you think this makes you look weak, but what really makes you weak is the fact that you are pretending that nothing is wrong with you"

oh god im crying, why is he right he's always bloody right! 

"why is it that you are right?" i say to him

he smiles and takes me into a hug.

"we will get through this together ok?" he says softly

"pinky promise?"

"pinky promise" 

we both burst out laughing, we quickly take each others pinkys in our own.

"right go get changed and i will see you in 10 minutes" he says 

"ok, i lone you so much and thank you for everything"

"i love you too, and thank you for everything" he replies then walks out the door.

right dress, where did i put you? i looked around for a bit until i finally found my dress in the bathroom. i did put light make-up on then quickly did my hair. i was always good a doing mine and others peoples hair so why waste lou's time doing my haiur when she can be doing the boys! i threw my dress on and grabbed my shoes, clutch and hanna's shoes. u hurried out the the door going into lou and el's room

"ok hanna your done" lou said as hanna got of the chair

her hair was beautiful, it was 3 small braids at each side of her head (just above her ears) and then in a high pony tail!

"cute as a button" i smiled at her

"thank you!" she says sweetly 

"ok shall we go?" i ask

"yea but what about auntie El and Niall and stuff?"

"ok yea course let me go get them you stay here with lou"

i walk into harry's room where the boys had decided to get changed

"ok i'm ready whos coming with me?" i say 

"emmm i ready and so is Niall Lou zayn... actually everyone's ready!" el said

"ok let's go then"

i got hanna and we all waked down into the lobby then got into the limo and started driving to the teen choice awards!