You & I

Happy New Year

It was on New Year's Eve morning and sadly I'd still not had the twins yet, I was hoping on the 26th I'd have started to labour but nothing. I felt a few contractions last night and this morning but they're slow and not frequent. I had called my midwife to let her know I had started to have contractions but it'll probably be another few days. And just like that I had spoken too soon. I long sharp contraction came and about 5 minutes later another one came.

After about 2 hours of tracking them they were coming every 7 minutes and lasting 20 seconds. I called my midwife just to update her and she came round to check my cervix. I was 2 centimetres dilated.

Niall and I decided to do most of the labour at home because that's where I felt most comfortable and once I had reached about 7 centimetres to go into the hospital.

I was very nervous but excited at the same time. I was finally going to meet my babies. My world was about to change forever and my family was about to change forever.

"You're doing so well, I'm so so proud of you" Niall kissed my ear

"I'm scared" I said with tears rolling down my cheek

"I know princess, I am too. But it's us, we'll get through this, we get through everything"

I laboured for 8 more hours at home until my contractions got so bad I wanted an epidural, which meant I would have to go to the hospital. At this point I didn't care, my body couldn't take the pain anymore.

I said my goodbyes to Duke, who was staying at home with Hanna and Logan, and it was the hardest thing I'd ever done.

"Mummy loves you Dukey, your my little prince always" I couldn't hold back the tears as I held him for the last time. I kissed his forehead and handed him to Niall

"You're gonna be okay little fella, mummy and Daddy will see you soon with some new friends okay?" Niall said. Duke smiled and laughed and hugged his daddy tight. My little boy was so perfect, how bad can two more be right?

We drove to the hospital which was about 30 minutes away and by this point I was crying from the pain.

Once we arrived at the hospital their was a wheelchair waiting for me and my midwife to take me to my room.

I got changed into the hospital gown and she checked me immediately.

"So your 5 centimetres now" she said to me

"That's all?" I said angrily

"I know but I think things will speed up now"

"I need the epidural" I said screeching in pain from another contraction.

"You know it'll only slow things down, and you wrote down in your birth plan not to give you one"

I took a deep breath in as my contraction ended and thought about what I wanted.

"It's not going to be another 8 hours is it?" I asked

"Id say theyll be here In about 4, so around 11 o'clock"

"You can do it" Niall said to me

I knew I could do it if I put my mind to it but was it really worth me being in so much pain? I figured If I did it with Duke I could go it again. Let's do this!

"Okay okay no epidural, yet"

my midwife smiled at me then left the room.

About 4 hours later I was 8 centimetres so despite my midwife being wrong I had 2 centimetres to go and it was 10:30.

"Not long left now" Niall said to me

"I hope so" I joked.

Thankfully he wasn't wrong at at 12:35 my midwife said it was time to push. It took me about 5 minutes to stop myself crying and actually begin pushing. I was so scared, this was it the final step.