You & I

Rocky Start

People close to Niall and i had been visiting since around 8 am of the 25th the day he was born. It was really quite horrible for me. I was absolutely exhausted and i just wanted my baby boy all to my self.  I know that sounds bad but it was the truth. I think that's how every mother feels at first.

Visiting hours just ended 20 minutes ago and thank god for that. My mum had been annoying me the whole time about how i need to be there for duke and all that shit but obviously i do, I'm not going to make the same mistakes as her and have 6 kids which she can't afford to look after. I never told anyone only Niall and the girls know but i had a twin, Louis, he died when we were both 8. We were playing on our bikes and he got knocked  down by a truck and literally died in front of me in my arms and where was my mum? Travelling with my dad. We had no money growing up but mum and dad both figured out a way to travel to nice places 3 times a year. That all changed however when Hanna and Hope were born. They decided to be good parents and dad went a got a good job. In all honesty they were shit parents to Louis, Cara, calum and I. I'm so glad i found gymnastics and moved away with my aunt although I always felt guilty leaving the others behind.

Anyway a little of the topic of duke, the doctors said we can take him home today anytime we want and i'm so happy because this bed is so uncomfortable and the longer we're in hospital the more paps outside! Niall is away signing forms and stuff and once they're done we leave!

After about an hour or so we were ready to leave. I was very aware of all the paps outside so I made sure my hair was nice and i had a small amount of makeup on, very natural. I also made sure my clothes were half decent or i would get shit said about how disgusting i am or something along those lines which i really can't be bothered to hear right now.

I swaddled Duke in a full baby blue blanket and held him. Niall took our bags and we made out way to the car park out the front of the hospital where too many to count paparazzi's were.

"Um Princess I think there's too many people outside so should i just go get the car and drive it to here?" Niall suggested

"Sounds like a much better plan! " I agreed

He left into the swarm of paps, millions of cameras flashing every second.

A few minutes later Niall parked out the front of the hospital and came in to where i was standing with Dukes car seat.  We put him in it the covered it with a blanket so the paps couldn't see him. We walked about 30ft to where the car was and niall clipped Duke in and we drove away after Niall and I were in the car obviously.

We drove all the way home talking about Duke, it felt weird talking about him because he was actually here in person not just a big bump that I carried for 9 months.

Once we arrived at our newly renovated home I sat straight down on the couch with Duke in my arms. Suddenly my phone went and it scared Duke alot because he woke up and screamed so loud. Niall took him and I answered this Unknown number.

"hello?" I said

"Hi, is this Millie Fairley Horan?" A man's voice said

"yes" I said quietly

"well this is James Henderson Head of the USA gymnastics foundation"

"Ahhh James, I've heard so much about you"

"All good I hope" He laughed

"Of course of course"

"Well as i'm well aware you have just given birth and I know your just wanting people to leave you to enjoy your family in privacy but I was wondering If you'd be free in May/June to come over here to the USATC in New York to help out with final preparations with the girls routines before Rio"

"Wow I'm absolute flattered that you have even considered me for this, It's an honor but as you clearly know I'm a British Gymnast not American and My little sister is competing this year as well and i'd like to support her as well as the British gymnasts not the Americans but if you give me dates I will certainly come over for a few days"

"I thought you might say that. Well yes even just a few days would be amazing all the girls here really look up to you and dream of being half the gymnast that you were"

"Thank you so much Mr.Henderson" I smiled as I said that through the phone.

"Really it's my pleasure. Now Just E-Mail the dates your free around then and we can get flights and hotels booked"

"oh no that's really not necessary Mr.Henderson"

"For everything you do for this sport it it"

"well thank you so very much and i'll have those dates to you very soon, Thanks again"

"No thank you Mrs.Horan" And with that the phone call was over.

I looked around to see Niall standing holding duke.

"What was all that about?" he asked

"It was the James Henderson Head of the USA gymnastics foundation and he basically offered me a pre Rio job"

"what do you mean"

"like to train the girls and things before the Olympics"

"what did you say?"

"I said no but I'd come over for a few days"

"ye that sounds reasonable"

Niall and i chatted for hours and embraced our little baby boy  together as parents and it felt pretty good.

"Niall?" i said

"ye princess?" he replied

"I was doing some thinking"

"when you think it's always something huge" he chuckled.

"well nothing is changing this time around" He rolled is eyes at me and i continued "so you know i love New York and that whole area of America and i think it would be a good place to bring Duke up in."

"so like move to New York? " I nodded "New York is pretty much the same as London Millie except you and i both have friends and family here"

In my head i knew Niall was right but New York was were i dreamed of living as a little girl and I wasn't going to give up on it. And in all honesty right now is the perfect time to move. We have plenty of money and with Niall's career we can live wherever we want.  Most of the songs are recorded in america and he travels all the time so it makes no difference.

"New York is London without family you're right but Sara is moving there in 2 months and El can visit.  My parents live in Australia now so America is closer"

"what about my family Millie?"

I guess i never thought about that so much. I looked him in the eyes and  I knew something was wrong.

"We're your family now Niall."

"I just cant go, I have to much here." His voice saddened.

"Well you won't when I take your son away." I know I know it sounds awful but i knew a little something nobody else knows.

His face was puzzeled "You wouldnt do that to me."

"Well i didnt think you could do alot of things to me but you did"

"I havent done anything, i've given you a baby and remember you told me I was the reason you stayed"

"You were, I mean you still are. I love you so so so much but your actions hurt."

"What actions?" He asked

"Niall I know."

"know wh..." he stared me straight in the eyes not a single movement in his body.  "I never meant for it to happen."

"thats not really good enough Niall. I wanted to move so we could start fresh forget what you did."

"i'll move" he anounced

"what about her...?"