You & I

Proud

so today Hanna, Eleanor Louis and myself are going to Bora Bora. of ocurse Niall isnt coming and Lou and El made up the morning after everything.

i havnt talked ot Niall at all in the past 4 weeks. we were supposed to go on holiday  a few days after eveything happened but everything happened and the holiday was delayed until now but i'm ready to just take a break for once! i dont get many!

today i'm 20 weeks pregnant so that means i'm half way through my pregnancy and might i say it has gone by so fast! i haven't bought anything yet and nobody knows i'm pregnant so to spite Niall i'm going to put a picture of my 20 weeks belly on twitter and instagram. i can wait to not have to hide it anymore. i  went to the doctors yesterday and still by the looks of everything he will have to come out early and be put into intensive care for a few weeks. that means he will have tubes and wires coming out of everywhere, i'm dreading it!

Eleanor and louis' baby has now got a 35 percent chance of dying in the whom, so thats better than 50%. 

i am now in the middle of making sure i have everything in my suitcase and next will be Hanna's! we really only need bikinis, sun cream, shorts and t-shirts and a pair of flip flops and thats it! and that pretty much is all Hanna wears so i'm sure hers will be just fine! 

i walk into Hanna's room and find her sleeping on her bed with her suitcase next to her. i take a picture and put it on twitter

@Hanna_Banana tired?  @eleanorJCalder @louis_Tomlinson Can't wait! see you soon! xx

almost immediately i got replies asking why Niall isn't coming and where is he and why havnt we been seen together in a while, then i looked at the worldwide trends and there was     #Miallover trending. guess it's obvious now! 

my phone started to ring and it was Eleanor

"hi babe" i said

"have you seen what trending?"

"yea, it was going to happen soon anyway!" i said

"what do ya think he is gonna say?"

"i dunno and i couldnt care less! but tell me if he says anything to lou!"

"yea will do but your 20 weeks today!"

"i know and your 20 weeks in 3 days!" i said trying to be happy

"you miss him dont you" she asked

"to much" 

"i will be over in half an hour but we are still in the country for another 3 hours, go see him!"

"i dont think that would be a good idea, have you seen Sara since?"

"yea i seen her yesterday, we went shopping and all she was talking about was how sorry she was, she was really drunk you know"

"yea but he wasnt they both should have known better"

"i guess anyway i have to go but i will tell you if Niall says anything"

"ok bii"

i hang up and carried on looking threw Hanna's things. she has everything she needs so i guess we are good to go. i leave her sleeping because i want her to get a good rest before the long flight. we are flying to L.A which is a 11 hour flight then form there we need to go to tahiti which is a 8.5 hour flight then finnaly from there we go to bora bora which is a 45 minute flight. so we are traveling for a full day! i'm excited to be there thats why i dont mind travelling that long!

i go back into my room and i find a missed call from el 3 missed calls from sara and 11 missed calls from Niall. oh god i dont know who to ring back. im defiantly not calling sara back! but do i really want ot talk to Niall, yes i do. i pick up my phone and then a tweet from Niall pops up. i click the twitter app on go to his profile. i see a picture of our baby on his feed. it was the ultra sound picture.