Long Distance

24

a/n- I have to let it out, I'm sorry. Don't read if you don't want to. so these last couple of weeks have been weighing me down to the point where I will cry anytime a certain thought about my mom passes through my thoughts. My mom basically doesn't want me in her life anymore and I could care less if I was to began with.  The last time I even thought suicide was when my dad went to prison. Now my only parent left doesn't even want to be one and it hurts a lot. I've been telling myself I can't do it because others don't want me to. My grandma is literally my whole family in my eyes. I haven't talked to any of my family for 5+ weeks. I haven't slept properly in 2weeks. And I'm slowly losing weight because I am sleep deprived. I just want it to stop and be done with. I hate how badly my depression is and I hate how my mom is. I told her to her face "if I died tonight and I knew you would stop all your habits than I'd do it this second." And she just says "you'll grow out of the sad teenager phase in time." And then tells me to fuck off. She has lost my respect for her as my mother, as far as I'm concerned I don't have a mom anymore. Promise me that if any of you guys have something bad happening in life, you will talk to someone, or even me. I care about people's feelings. So please just come and talk to me. I am here for each and every one of you, I'm sorry for ranting I just really needed to tell someone

-JOSH-

We ended up not calling 911, instead we brought Tyler to his house. His mom was so scared for him, she was asking so many questions about what happened.

I wanted to scream and apologize at the top of my lungs, but even though the chances of me and him ever talking after tonight are slim, I didn't want her to shun me from him.

But the guilt is killing me.

"I promise, Mrs.Joseph, we will not leave until he's fully conscious." Brendon spoke after Tyler's mom kept walking around and looking at Tyler's sleeping body.

"You get some sleep, okay?" I stood from the bed walked to her. "He's sleeping right now, and that's exactly what you need to do as well. Don't stress." She nodded in a jittery way, then left us to ourselves.

After the door closed, Brendon spoke.

"Man, I feel bad for the kid. I wonder what happened?" I swallowed the lump in my throat and continued to hold Ty's cold hand.

"I don't know what happened, but I assure you it was because of me." Doubt is a horrible feeling, but guilt is even worse. You know you did it, you know you caused it, and it slowly eats you away until you either come clean, or it kills you first.

"It might not have been, he could have been getting chased or someone attempted to kidnapped him, even." I raise my brow. He stares back with confusion. "Kidnapped?" I asked, Tyler hands twitch.

"He's small, and looks weak, easy to kidnap." Brendon states at he poked at Tyler nonexistent muscles. I cracked a smile, followed by a huff of  boredom from Bren.

"Tyler has Monopoly in his closet." I suggested, going for the closet. "I don't wanna pl-"

"To damn bad."

He sighs again.

I brought the game to the floor and picked out the car.

"I'm the car." Brendon claimed.

"No, be the dog."

"I'll run that damn dog over, I'm the car!"

"No! I am."

"You can be like, the ship or some shit." I roll my eyes, going to say something before Tyler's body shifted around towards us.

I wonder what he's dreaming, if he is dreaming. I thought to myself before the car was snatched from my hands.

"I'm the car."

a/n cutting it short here. Hope you don't mind.