What It Whispers.

to the one who craves light.

*** This isn't poetry***

Under the dark skies, with clouds burdened with joy and sorrows we all live in our own confines. Shut, enclosed, frightened, overjoyed, blessed in our own ways.

As the enlightened month had begun, the heart is quite in a frenzy, to find mercy even in the most grieving moments. You know how they say that we shall never understand other's obstacles until we go through something similar to it. I found the statement utterly nonsensical. Even now, I don't really feel that it makes sense, if that was the case, none of us could have offered comfort to each other, and this world would have been this big boiling pot of sadness.

Sadness. The syllables don't even need a meaning of its own, because well, it is just sad. I have been encountering many people who are burdened with this unwanted emotion. People who are craving to get rid of this particular emotion because things just don't make sense anymore. It has creeped inside their hearts, has rented their veins and perhaps replaced the excited and overjoyed blood that runs through it. The nagging emotion grabs all of our energy and all we want to is to pass into oblivion and just give up.

Then this beautiful thing called brain knocks and the frequency is quite dramatic, nevertheless it knocks as hard as it can, and finally your heart wakes up and looks past all the dark clouds to see that perhaps, there is something called sun out there. Perhaps, darkness isn't constant...though it may seem to be. Heart begins to think...and pump, think...pump, blood...excitement...veins... run and finally feels! After all those days of going numb, of feeling too much, so much so that the heart had been scarred and pained, the heart finally begins to pump joy, even if it is meagre, it does anyway.

It is easy to write and speak about hopes and bright days, about the cloud's silver lining, about how the skies have no limit, oceans never give up their fight against the storm, but when life throws you in a storm, all hell breaks loose. Though it shouldn't. Allah isn't testing us with actual hardships when we write and speak of being hopeful, that state is when we imagine life is a utopia or the state can be titled as the calm before the storm. The time when you had been preparing to be wise after quite a dramatic test. As you finally revived your hopes and turned wise and started talking to people about the lessons you've learnt, Allah puts you through a grim situation which is filled with hidden blessings.

The situation has got dark clouds looming around, it seems impossible to get away from the storm, the people around being huge waves, they suppress and drain out all the optimism and energy we had. We finally are reduced to nothing. A piece of nothing...the wisdom, faith, hope we had become a thing of past. But you are aware, aware that you aren't the same anymore. It hurts. It hurts to know that you've changed, that you had given in to the whispers of the storm instead of being the sailor who saves his own skin no matter how strong the wind may be. Out there some soul reading this may find that he/she feels exactly the same way, and I'm writing this for you, to tell you what others wouldn't. It is alright to feel so, and guess what? You are still the superhero that people would adore to have.

This new feeling of worthlessness that had entered your heart is making itself comfortable, well it is a new guest, quite an unwelcomed one, extremely rude, but you tolerate with it anyway. Because you don't see any other option, it is the easy way out you know?

'I'm simply worthless, no one loves me in the end of the day, I'm not as good as that person, I'm such a piece of regret, a jagged material of guilt....well there, there, can you pause for a moment to reflect on how pessimistic your soul had become? In a moment, you probably uttered about a hundred words that NEVER defined you. But now, they seem to define you, you are falling into the trap. The devil's trap doesn't really start with sinning right away, the devil's trap begins from within the heart and soul. When you lose faith, he comes in with a slew of negative emotions and keeps throwing in as much as he can and leaves you in despair.

One faithful word uttered by you wholeheartedly can change everything, but you simply chose not to.

You have come a far way, carrying yourself as the warrior you always had been, it has been painful and you have regretted, with a numb heart, now you sit there staring into space because things just don't make sense anymore. What am I doing with my life? Am I even worthy enough to dream? The darkness blinks, it tells you that things don't need to be the same way. It speaks the truth, but heart is indeed a piece of fascination, it shrugs away.

I had been seated staring at the pages of Qur'aan the Holy Book as well, with hundreds of uncertain questions looming in my heart. With a heart that was filled with anxiety, I couldn't seem to grasp what could all this mean? My loved ones and their emotions being the hardest understand, it somehow affected me.

The thing about this Holy Book revealed to the thirsty human souls is that it develops a sense of connection once you read it with the utmost concentration. Even the simplest of verses hold a huge wisdom. The simple verses such as 'Seek help through patience and prayer', 'Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest', have so much depth that can't be grasped by a shallow mind. Once you actually submit and entrust that heart of yours to the Rabbul Aalameen, and utter to the Turner of hearts that you would love to come out of the darkness, and begin reading the guide to this humanity, things change drastically.

The way you look at life, your purpose, your deeds; everything seems to take a complete turn. Things wouldn't and shouldn't be the same anymore. Al-Qur'aan is the healer, the ultimate healer that shows us the way to live. By submitting to the Lord of the Worlds, by remembering Him constantly, and doing the best you can to Please Him, things begin to fall into place. One of the strongest traits of a believer is to believe in Qadr, the ultimate trust that if things were meant to be a certain way, then no one can change it accept Him whom we worship. When one believes in the Decree of Allah, life becomes so much easier and peaceful. The constant worries about the future, the fear to fail and the fear to be disappointed disappears slowly, but effectively.

Even as I write this, some soul out there isn't really feeling very hopeful. The 'what ifs' enter; another unwanted villain. Fight against the 'what ifs' and try. Try until things change, until you see the bright days. Sometimes it is all about the heart craving to belong and truly, the heart doesn't belong anywhere except to the Turner of Hearts.

We create memories in certain places, loads of them, I've spent most of my life in this city creating memories and laughing with hundreds of people. In this city, I had become crazy, wise and an entirely new person. But I would be asked to leave, I would even be asked to leave this world one day, because we don't really belong anywhere. The heart is simply an amaanah instilled within us. It truly and heartily belongs to Al-Wadood (The Most Loving). As long as His Remembrance is etched in our hearts, His revealed words run in our veins, the heart shall always belong wherever it goes. A part of loving something is to accept what it gives without any hesitation, this life that you had been given was to love, and when you love this life simply because the Rabb had gifted you this so generously because He is Al-Kareem, then how can you hate it even for a single moment? How can you expect it to rejoice when it is in dearth of feeling its essence?

Nourishment for your physique comes after nourishing your soul. The soul can only be nourished when it remembers the fundamental lessons it had been taught by God. Be kind to your soul and heart. Read the Holy Book to know where you belong, to do what you have to do, begin to love what you do and where you are. Things will never be the same, it can be the storm in your life, but there is calmness after this. It can be the calm before the storm, but a believer is simply blessed, because he becomes the best of sailors when the storm hits him. Waves try to ruin him, but he won't let it get to him, because that piece of flesh within still pumps happiness for the sake of Rabb. He won't give up, then why will you?

Smile. It is your storm, let the light enter into your heart, become the best of sailors. Make the wrongs right, always believe that 'Indeed with hardship comes ease'.