What It Whispers.

stagnation.

I am—what they call a content writer. I have been one for quite a few years now. For as long as I can remember, I have been writing, or at least, I've always attempted to write. I'll admit, I was very very very bad at it. To put it mildly. But, I think when you love something, you learn more about it, and that's how I learned that writing was my passion that can be easily turned into a profession ( I guess). 

I began to work as a content writer when I was in high school, not knowing what it was, of course. I was not a freelancer, though. I have always been a part of an organization. So life was merry and dandy, while of course, being underpaid.

Things went on and really good stuff happened, Alhamdulilah, I began to write for a lifestyle magazine, and that was sort of like the golden age. But things had to change. Because this girl right here always had this undying love to educate herself in a formal institution. I took two years break after high school, worked, sort of had a stable job, and then I quit and traveled to study the greatest science of all time (jk)- Psychology.

But amidst this all, I still worked. It is something ground in me. I simply cannot give up writing. Both as a passion and profession. Content writing is nothing like writing as a passion. It can make you hate your love for this art. Which is exactly why you have to preserve your writer personality by keeping your voice fresh with your poetry or anything else. Anything except writing content for blockchains, atoms and leaking pipes and roofs.

(Also, being a content writer does not involve interaction with a lot of people. It is more of like a 'work from home' thing, which is amazing for an introvert and a woman who doesn't really like being in the limelight, but it can get tiring at times). 

So recently, I kind of lost a few opportunities to work. After about five years of creating content for someone in this world, I decided to take things into my own hand, and survive as an independent writer who would finally get what she deserves. A good payment. Alas, no such thing happened. Neither did I get what I had to nor did I get any projects.

And...that fed me with one of the worst feelings in the world. At least, to me. The feeling of being jobless. Something I never liked.

So I stopped writing. Everywhere. I haven't written on Wattpad since a long time, I have not blogged, and I can't even cook up an amazing Instagram post. So I pushed myself to write something. To keep the Aara in me alive.

I really hope something works out. But I'd also take this as a message from Him. A message to use this gift for a purpose. A Greater purpose.

Maybe this is a road block. Or a road that leads somewhere, but I refuse to remain stagnated.

So if there is anything at all that you as a reader would like for me to write about, let me know. Or if there is anywhere that you want me to write, get in touch with me! 

Have you ever felt this feeling of purposelessness? Stagnation? When you wanted to do so much, yet things just don't seem to work out?

Let me know how you deal with stuff like these!