What It Whispers.

filled.

Miles away I hear a heart beating
Staring into space dreaming.
Just like me.
A feeling swirled up in the gut,
Are you alright?
I whisper into the space.
No answer,
An unsettled space in my pit reassures,
I smile and melt into the darkness,
Slumber overtakes my emotions.
A million words to be spoken,
But everything left carved in papers,
And whispered to the breeze,
Just like my name.

It had been hard for so long
To live within confines
Obliged to the words uttered
Ever with a mind and heart that thinks,
But never could decide what it truly wants,
Because my love had been mistaken for obedience,
That I didn't matter anymore
At least not much.
I had been loved too much
By a few, but couldn't ever grasp
As to why I hadn't been trusted.
Everything passed into oblivion,
My words I meant.

As someone with passion and desires,
With love and character,
Forgetting and being ignorant wasn't an option,
To say let go were mere words,
But within, things tugged me tight,
How I live I ask sometimes
With a vulnerability so apparent,
Only because I had my Lord,
Only because of prayers that were said in the darkening nights,
Prayers. They were. His Mercy it had always been.
Make others smile ...I had been taught.
I have. But will I ever be given the same?
For those who do good, isn't good the reward?
As I brim with uncertainty
An ignited hope pushes through my pharynx,
Saying, praise the One Above
You've been blessed.
And just like that I leave all the affairs to Him
Yes it is uncertain
Yes it doesn't make sense,
But did we ever make sense when we were just a puddle in our mothers wombs?
Perhaps not at all.
Then leave it to the One who Moulded and Shaped,
And trust like how your mother had trusted,
To let you be in the womb,
For she knew the Maker would nourish you.
She would tend and protect,
But she wouldn't worry about what came forth,
Because she knew He had plans within to nourish you
And bring you out as a healthy one,
What if she hastened?
Wouldn't the puddle have been just a dirty water with nerves?

So calm your frenzy nerves,
He has got this.
Pray and try.
But Trust Him.
Thing will never go wrong.
Alhamdulilah. I finally whisper.
To the darkening night.
And you are alright. I smile.