Choices // The Sandlot

01; Benny

a/n: I officially hate myself. this book I promise will be finished. I'm in such a Sandlot feels moment that I can't help myself. I promise to pull through. if I don't you guys have all rights to yell at me. lots of love, ash❤️❤️

My white converse squeaked as I walked down the hallway. My dad sent me a new pair because in my recent call to him I told him about mine being wore out so he bought me a new pair and sent them. I was still breaking them in and the squeaks from each step proved that theory even more.

"Hey Bavasi! Nice Chucks" a booming voice yelled to me down the hallway.

"Thanks Porter, they're new obviously" I said reaching him and the boys before giving him a high five.

"Can you believe it, the last day of our junior year. After summer it will be our last first day of high school. That is almost terrible to think about" Yeah Yeah said and I nodded.

"I know it almost breaks my heart Yeah Yeah" I said wrapping my arm around his shoulders.

"Hey! Where's Benny?" Squints asked and I turned and looked at him.

"Benny" I mumbled. Benjamin Franklin Rodriguez, or other known as Benny The Jet Rodriguez. He was the best baseball player in the world. Well at least to me anyway. As you can see my little crush on him had hopelessly caused me to fall in love with him but he would never know that. We were summer rain and him and his girlfriend were fire. Fire beats summer rain every time.

Yeah I did say girlfriend. Patricia Whitt, the blondest, the skinniest, the prettiest, the richest, the perfectest girl in the whole school. I hated her, so did all the boys. But Benny loved her though and that was enough for us to treat her like we like her. We never expected him to get a girlfriend for baseball is life when it comes to Benny. Every time we asked him why, he always replies with. Baseball is life, it doesn't mean others can't live that life with you.

"Hey there he is" Tommy pointed and there he was. His tall figure wrapped around Patty's equally as tall one as they were against the lockers. It all felt wrong. Him not here with us and over there with her. It was a feeling as close to living out of your skin. Seeing yourself and how you really are and it scares you because you don't know what's happening. Just like in the movies.

"Yo Benny!" Bertram yelled and his head perked up and looked our way. He nodded his head in greeting as he continued chewing on the bazooka bubble gum. It was still funny how we lived to our promise to never chew the real stuff again after that one night at the carnival.

He looked towards Patty before saying something then locking lips with her. My heart clenched and my eyes stung and I couldn't breath. That's how it always was. Long and painful and I would pull through it. He was the love of my life. He deserved to be happy. Before I knew it he moved away from her and ran our way.

"Hey guys we gonna play some ball tonight?" he asked joining my side and I lightly shuddered. I didn't want him to close, I might fall in deeper then I already am.

"I'm in" Timmy said.

"I'm in" Tommy obviously repeated.

"I'm pretty sure we're all good for tonight" Kenny said and everyone nodded.

"Yeah I just have to be back in time to do the dishes for my Mom" Smalls said and the boys looked at him like he was crazy.

"You can almost drive and your still doing the dishes for your Mom?" Ham asked and Smalls rolled his eyes and nodded.

"Okay so that is everyone except for......" he trailed off as everyone looked at me.

"Meil's, you up for some B ball tonight?" He finished.

"Yeah yeah! Amelia you have to. Your a Bavasi after all" Yeah Yeah added and I sighed.

"Fine, I guess I'll come" I said and they all cheered.

It was funny how I was the only girl the boys accepted. I was a Bavasi after all. Yeah, my dad was Buzzie Bavasi the general manager of the LA Dodgers. After my mom died his hands got to full with me and work so I have been living with my grandpa ever since. My Dad taught me to love baseball the way Benny did. Baseball was life. No other way.

"Okay so let's hit the Sandlot" he wrapped his arm around my shoulders squishing me right into his right ribs and letting me go as they jogged to the exit. To him I just another one of the boys and that's what I would always be.

"I'll meet you guys there! I have to get the rest of my stuff out of my locker!" I shouted to them and I received a few thumbs up before I made my way to my locker.

Do you know what it feels like when someone you love, loves someone else. It's almost indescribable. It like stepping on a million burning coals after swimming in the coldest water in the world as a knife is repeatedly stabbed into your heart and it's hard to breath and move and you keep pushing forward because your love for them is the only thing that keeps you strong yet it's killing you at the same time. That's what it's like. To have feelings your not allowed to have. You can't help what you feel but you can help when you show what you feel.

Before Benny I was rainbows and sunshine. I'm always smiling and laughing and I see the good in everybody. I was Amelia Rose Bavasi and I was strong and innocent and could fix my friends problems before even thinking about mine. I feel so selfish now that my feelings are the only ones I think about.

The boys couldn't tell I acted different. I still smiled and laughed and was innocent. It was all a facade though. I learned how to lie and before I knew it I believed my own lies to. I finished grabbing the stuff out my locker when it was shut on me.

"Hi Patty" I smiled sweetly at her like I always do. I am supposed to be the sweet heart. I don't feel much like it anymore.

"Yah whatever, I saw Benny put his arm around you and we need to come to an agreement that it won't happen again" she said as she chewed obnoxiously on her gum. I sighed. How would I think this interaction would be any different, it's always like this.

"Patty I can't control that, he does what he does it's not like I make him" I said and she pushed me up against the locker.

"I don't care, avoid it or the next arm that touches you will be mine as it collides with your nose" she said and I nodded quickly as she let go of her grip on me and put on her fake sweet smile.

"Okay! Thanks!" she stated before bopping up on her toes then continuing down the hall.

"You okay Meil's?" I heard Smalls ask and I hopped up looking at him.

"How much did you see?" I immediately asked.

"Uh, everything" he mumbled and I sighed pressing my hands to my head.

"Oh my God, don't tell Benny please! What are you even doing back here? You were supposed to be with the boys. Please promise me you won't tell" I rambled and he looked at me sadly.

"How long has this been going on?" he asked.

He was obviously referring to Patty's bullying. Sadly I have been dealing with it since her and Benny started dating. She must of been jealous or some thing about how I was his only girl best friend out of the boys.

"Since her and Benny started dating" I said and he hugged me his tall figure holding my short one. Smalls had a growth spurt now over towering me as much as the other boys.

"A year and a half! Why didn't you tell us!?" he said and I sighed.

"I want Benny to be happy, he deserves everything he gets" I said but Smalls pulled away.

"Benny can still be happy without her. Yeah she might be apart of his baseball life like he says but so are you and us boys. He can make an exception for another one of us that is hurt. Not just his girlfriend" he said and I lowered my head.

"Just don't tell him, Patty might kill me if she found out I told" I said and he sighed and nodded.

"Let's go play some ball" he said and I agreed. Baseball was life. Not Benny. Maybe I should keep it that way.