Choices // The Sandlot

19; here we are again

a/n: I'm so tired. I also had something really creepy happen to me Saturday night and I can't handle it. I'm really tired and I have my phone for the weekend but I'm busy this weekend so let's see what happens. anyways I love talking with u guys and if any of u are outsiders fans comment ur kik and I can put u in me and my friends outsiders group chat on kik. super short chapter though but I'm hoping my next one will be longer. Kay cool, lots of love, ash❤️❤️

We're just sitting here. Like we always are. I hate that. Nothing can ruin my day more then sitting in between the
two people who make me feel so many emotions it rips my insides apart. I'm tired of being stuck in the middle. a/n: clowns to my left, jokers to my right here I am stuck in the middle with you

I finally let a giant sigh escape my mouth before standing. I can't take this anymore. If they can't even make a decision now and I couldn't either what the hell were we even doing.

"Fine that's it, if none of us can make a decision then I will. We are all gonna be friends. No relationships just friends" I said and the boys looked at each other and nodded.

"Okay agreed, now let's go to school" Benny said and I nodded and we stood up heading to school. It was a silent ride and silent departure as we entered the school.

I walked in to the classroom noticing I sat behind Phillips so I turned my desk around and sat back to back with him. I noticed Benny was outside the windows along the wall of the classroom. The last bell rang and Mr. Law walked in.

"What's this? Amelia turn your desk back around" he said and I sighed and stood up turning it around and sitting down. I looked over and saw Benny pushed up against the glass and he looked so cute. I smiled at him and looked forward to see Phillips saw.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" he asked.

"I smiled at Benny" I said and he nodded.

"Yeah I saw" he said and I smiled.

"So now I'm smiling at you to even it up" I explained and he sighed. I understand I wouldn't want to be evened up.

"I like your shirt" I said trying to make him feel better.

"HEY!" Benny yelled through the window as it echoed down the hallway he was in.

"Your hair smells nice!" I said fast. It really did.

"You smelled him?" Phillips asked and I sighed.

"I'm tired all the time!" I shouted before plopping my face back on the desk.

"What is happening to you guys? And Benny get in here now!" Mr. Law finally shouted and Benny walked in sitting in his seat across from Phillips.

"Sir haven't you heard yet? They're the biggest talk of the school. They're a love triangle" Darby said raising her hand and he nodded and set his briefcase on his desk.

"So your a love triangle?" he asked and we shook our heads.

"Well not anymore, we agreed to just stay friends this morning" I said and he nodded.

"I see so how does this work?" he asked.

"What work?" I asked and he walked around his desk before sitting on it and crossing his arms.

"This triangle?" he asked and I sighed. Well it's not a gay triangle.

"They like me, I like them" I said and he nodded. He needs to stop.

"What one do you love?" he asked.

"Excuse me?" I tried to say not sounding rude.

"Which one do you love and which one do you like?" he asked and I shrugged.

"I don't know that yet sir" I said and he nodded.

"Sometimes when we are put in difficult situations we convince ourselves to believe somethings that is actually not true. After a while you have been lying to yourself for so long you don't even remember what you were lying about. Amelia at one point or another did you convince yourself you loved one of these boys when you actually just had something difficult going on and didn't want to deal with it?" he said and I sighed.

"I don't remember sir, it's been a long time" I said and he laughed.

"That's funny how that sounds right, you honestly don't remember because your drowning yourself. I understand why your tired all the time and it's because your muddled thoughts are always spiraling around this stupid triangle and it's been happening for so long you can't recall your true feelings and your fake ones" he said and I nodded folding my hands on my lap.

"Class what's more important, sense or sensibility?" he asked.

"Sense" Benny said.

"Sensibility" Phillips replied right after.

"Amelia?" Mr. Law asked and I sighed.

"Both are important" I said and he nodded.

"Correct, now which one do you listen to? Head or heart?" he asked and I shrugged.

"I don't know, I can't remember" I felt like a fool repeating those words. I seriously couldn't remember.

"I know but once you do you will know your answer. You need both sense and sensibility for a relationship to work. They even each other out, who evens you out?" he said and the class was silent. We have never had such a deep and meaningful lesson with Mr. Law and we all had to let it sink in.

"So your saying that it's impossible for us to be just friends?" Phillips asked breaking the silence and Mr. Law nodded.

"Sadly yes, until this triangle is resolved none of you can deny the fact that the feelings are there" he said and we nodded.

"Mr. Law may I use the restroom?" I raised my hand and he nodded as I dashed out of the classroom. I ran to the bathroom and locked myself in a stall. Tears streamed down my face as I sat on the lid of the toilet.

I wish I wasn't so confused. Everything is so cloudy and muddled and I always listened to my heart but lately I have been listening to my head and I can't recall which one over powers which. I can only recall that there are feelings there and I just don't know what they mean.

I was out of the triangle for only an hour but now we're back. Here we are again. It seems as if we will be here forever.