Mind Bottles

Games

The next day I sat at my desk only thinking about one thing, Cameron. I felt overwhelmed with emotions that I haven't felt since I was with him.

I'm not like typical girls my age, just wanting to sleep around and have fun. I get it, and I'm not judging but that's just not what I have in mind. I want something serious, someone that won't make me look like an idiot. I crave a connection, an understanding between me and someone else. Sure, I want sex but I want more than that. I want to make love not lust.

I walked out of my classroom ready to switch to my next class when I saw Cameron. He was surrounded by girls and he was talking to them about how he survived getting shot. He was acting like he was 50 cent or something. I rolled my eyes and walked past him hoping to get a reaction. I smiled and he just stared at me like he didn't know me, so I did the same. I acted like a complete stranger to him, Ive done it before without a problem.

After school I walked up to the school bus debating if I wanted to get on or not. I knew that Cameron would be on there and that he'd just ignore me. I decided to take the septa bus instead. I grabbed the little bit of money out of my pocket and waited for the next bus to come.

"Ana!" I heard someone yell. I looked around wondering who it was. Cameron began to walk up to me when he realized he caught my attenion.

"I missed you today" Cameron said as standing next to me.

"Sure you did." I replied.

"Why you always acting like that Ana?"

"Acting like what?!" I snapped

Cameron tried to grab onto my waist but I pushed him away. The bus then pulled up and I got on. I watched the doors close and Cameron's face looked hurt but I didn't care.

I hated being ignored. I didn't mind when I was the one ignoring others but when I'm ignored I have a bitch fit. I know its hypocritical but hey, old habits die hard.

My first love ignored me all the time, but every time he needed me I dropped everything I was doing just to be there for him. I was vulnerable, innocent, and clueless and he knew that and took advantage of it. Even though he put me through hell, hell is where I learned my strengh and learned his games so I could play them even better than he did. 'I stared acting like a Nigga so I won't get played like a bitch'

I'm not clingy anymore. I'm not obsessive anymore. I rarely allow myself to catch feelings, and when I do I fuck any chances up before there even given.