It Feels Right

neun

  I couldn't stop shaking. I felt like my world has been crushed. My heart physically hurt more and more as the evening went on. My crying was only getting worse. I couldn't think straight, nor see with the tears in my eyes. My chest hurt along with my heart. Soon enough it was getting hard to breathe. I wanted to go take a hot bath and relax but I knew that wouldn't be a smart idea, so I just sat on the couch motionless. 

About fifteen minutes after dad hung up with Kyle everyone was home. Kylie and Kyle both saw that I was not moving, so they approached me in a fast manner. Kyle sat down next to me, brought me into a tight hug and just held me. I motioned for Kylie to sit next to me on the other side so I could comfort her. She took no time to think about that offer. Kylie was a mess, she really need a sister to hold her for a bit. As she sits down, she just breaks and let's it out. I don't think I've ever seen her this upset. Ever. She's always just so happy and she loves life like nothing is wrong, unlike me who lives with constant negativity everyday. Kylie is like my hype man, so it absolutely kills me that she's this hurt; she's not alone, but still. 

While Kyle, Kylie, Ethan and I are sitting in silence in the living room, Kensleigh had brought Grayson up stairs to her room because I guess they've become real close and she wants to just spend time with him. I don't know why she wouldn't want to spend time with her grieving family, but whatever. When it comes to things like this Kens is usually super indirect about everything. She kind of just acts like nothing happens, and then a month or two later she'll grieve. I'm not sure why she doesn't that, but I guess it's just who she is.