It Feels Right

n1n9teen

Kyle helped me into the house with Ethan, and Makaela behind us. Grayson, and Kens were watching TV in the living room, but I didn't even want to talk to them at the moment. Granting that Grayson welcomed me home. I returned his welcome with a small smile. Kens just smiled at me like nothing happened. Ethan, and Makaela joined the two in the living room while Kyle helped me to my room. 

 I entered my room, and to the bed went. I slept for so long. It must have been at least a six hour nap. No cares were given, it felt great. My head was pounding, and now all of my meds were down stairs. I headed down to the kitchen to get some coffee for my headache, so I wouldn't have to take a pill. The four were still in the living room. 

As I was finishing up, I felt someone staring at me; probably Ethan. My feet were shuffling across the floor, since my energy was pretty low. I just got what I needed, and started to head back up to my room, until Ethan stopped me on the stairs, "Hey, can we talk?" he whispered. 

"I don't know what is left to talk about" practically whispering since my voice is pretty much gone after yelling, "Other than how much of a loser I am from last night..." I turned around, and kept walking up the stairs, "and the fact that I'm such a terrible person. Maybe it's because I'm crying for help, and no one does anything..." trying to fight for my voice, "I have depression Ethan, and now you got to witness it. Congrats." reaching my room, I turn to face Ethan. I grabbed a hold of the door frame to help keep my balance. My voice was calm, and gentle, "You saw the real me. You saw the monster that I am. I'm at the point where I don't even care anymore. So, will you please leave me alone? I would like to get some rest." My eyes were starting to water, while I was trying to get my voice back. Turning back to head to bed, Ethan grabs my arm, "Kolby, please-"

"No Ethan, I'm so sorry. I just can't do this right now." I pull away from him, "I'm hurting, and I want to be by myself, please. Just please." I started crying. I wanted to be left alone. I didn't want to talk about anything, I just wanted to recover.

"I'm sorry. I really am" he whispered. He pulled me into a hug. My tears already soaking into his shirt. 

"Etha-" I sniffled.

"Kolby, I said I'm sorry. Please just accept that from me." his grip became tighter. 

"I accept your apology. Now please just go before you see the ugly side of me, again. I don't want you to see that side anymore." I pull away from his embrace. Our eyes make sudden contact.

"I'm sorry Kolby" Ethan walked away with sadness in his eyes. 

The pain still lingered. It literally feels like my heart has been ripped out of my chest. My arms were stinging with pain. The white bandage was soaked in red. My body is weak, and shaky, and my mind, well it was pretty much just useless.