The Capture

chapter.35 "I still love her."

-Justins POV-

"meeting over.. you all can now go on with it and think what you're going to do. got it?"

They all nodded their heads and with that I walked out of the meeting house and to my car. the weather wasn't very pleasing as it was yesterday. it's getting somewhat colder. the nights becoming longer and the day becoming shorter. to be honest it sucks.

I unlock my car and get inside and put the key in ignition and wait for the car to warm up. I grip my phone from my jean pocket and see if I had any messages or calls from Madison... did I? no. not even one. that's good right? maybe she moved on.... or even better forgot all about me. who am I kidding, that's not good at all. maybe Gavin was right.. what if I didn't let her go.. I did what I always do. I let my fucking anger get to me and I make the wrong decisions... every time... every fucking damn time. I lost my family that way... I lost my girlfriend that way.. I get people hurt that way... it always leads me tumbling down. I just fall deeper and deeper into anger when that happens... but with Madison.. her smile and laugh just- it does something to me. it makes all my stress and anger go away.. she makes me a better person even thought hat is highly impossible... she makes me happy... yes Madison makes me happy. she did... she does... and hopefully she will.. what if I drive down to Megan's house and talk to Madison. but what if she shuts me down and doesn't want to talk? she was so mad at me that day... I don't want to even remember it. that feeling of her hating me... her saying that she hated me.. that hurt more then any bullet or cut ever would.

I back up my car and speed up the dirt path and take a sharp ear bustling turn on the road and slam on the gas. I need to see her. I hate being away from her.. I can protect her... I will protect her. I would never let anyone harm her.. maybe it's happened before but that was out of control. but even then I should have done better protecting her. it's all my fault why she was in the hospital... she almost died because of me.. all my fault... my situation that she got dragged into. but I also saved her... yet if I never killed her parents that night then she would still be in a normal life. I took that from her... that's something she can never get back. no matter how much she tried to be normal... it would be impossible. now she has a dangerous life. where all my enemies are her enemies. some of the most dangerous and cruel people in the world after me for a reason... but after her? Just because she is my life and she is my g- was my girlfriend.. ugh Justin you really blew it this time didn't you.. everything I did in the past leaded me to today... I was a wreck when I was younger.. I grew up to be a fucking wreck... and Madison waltz into my life and it was like she pieced together all the cracks in it.. she held me together.. she saved me from being a dark...cold... heartless person.. what I chose to do for the rest of my life is a for a cold hearted person.. which I was... still am I guess. but when I am with her it's like she heals me.. she makes me see through the bad. she makes me feel something.. something that is rare to find in this messed up world.. something people usually pretend to get the most stupidest things.. something that is once in a lifetime.. something that is like finding a needle in a hay stack... maybe even harder then that. something that bonds two people together no matter what the consequence.. no matter what the risk. and that's love. I love Madison Parker... I love Madison Parker. and I should have never let her go out of anger... I shouldn't have let anyone's opinions get to me.. I need her now more then ever.. I need her all day.. everyday..

A smile tugs at the ends of my lips just of the thought of seeing her again... seeing those sparkling blue orbs that make me go in a daze.. that warm smile that makes me want to stare at it forever.. her beautiful silky hair that always smells like flowers.. her overall appearance makes me go into a trance.. she's mine, and only mine, anyone who tries to hurt her will never see the light of day. that is not being over protective.. that's me being in love. and maybe a bit over protective. but what I've seen throughout my life I think being over protective is better then not at all. people get hurt when you think less of their protection and that is not something I will do to Madison. her safety is on my mind twenty four seven. even more if possible.