"Me Too"~ Austin Mahone Fanfiction

Chapter 33

Emma's P.O.V.

I turned around to see Austin's face looking at the ground. Hiding his face from the tears that are soaking the pavement. He loves me? I can't take this.... none of it. All the bad events in this relationship happen all too fast, I'm so distracted by all the kissing to realize that this is actually our one month anniversary.

Looking back at it all now I've realized that he's not the one for me..... an the pain that comes from this hurts really bad. I always dreamed about him, I always wanted this and I realize I can't handle it.....

The party
Drinking
Kissing
Him
Me

I can't do any of this anymore....

At this point I'm just standing here debating on wether I should take in all of this or throw it away.

I'm pathetic, I really am....

"You don't love me, that's just the alcohol talking, you never did. You only used me for your selfish needs. Austin you and I both know that this wasn't going to last ever since...... the day you asked me out. I can't anymore, I've been back and forth with you lately you've been acting strange and it's not possible for us to keep this up....." As much as it hurts to say this I knew this was all wrong, all that I claimed was wrong. On this night, our first anniversary I am breaking up with Austin Carter Mahone.

"Emma, no...don't walk away, don't I mean anything to you...." With that I stepped into my house and kicked off my heals off.

At this moment my heart is breaking.... It's tearing away so quickly that I might just pass out. I know I can't be without him, I know he's the same way.... But if he really does love me he will prove it. Even though he told me that tonight I don't believe it's true, he wouldn't say that he can't.... It's only been a month and I'm positive his sober self wouldn't say it.

When my head hit my pillow the tears fall down hard. The deprivation of Austin will be the death of me.... I don't why I broke with him I'm just in denial. I want Austin so badly I do, I just want to prove my point that it's not him in the relationship. I know deep down inside me I will regret everything all of it. Sleep, Sleep will help my misery.


Here I am back in this field, watching him just sit and stare at the setting sun... Why? I need to forget about him although I know that won't happen.Here I am looking at him, his soft face and I move my hand to touch his face and I feel as if I've moved away from him.

"Emma?, Why did you leave me?" He asks eyes glossy

"No I didn't ....." I reach out for his hand once more. Instead I fall into the depths of the flowery field, falling...falling. Is this what I get for hurting him, myself,no.... it's for saying what wasn't true doubting him, and his feelings.

For not giving him a chance......

Here I stay screaming, falling down this endless pit of daisies and sunflowers.

I look up hoping to see you, holding out your hand to catch me and hold me in your arms... but all you do is stare at me while I fall and cry. I've realized that I let you down, just like how you won't lift me up out of this hole, this bottomless pit of sadness I'm falling into.

I shoot up from my bed with tears streaming down my face, was I really crying in my sleep? But why? I know I had a nightmare but why cry? I've never assumed that I loved Austin not have I questioned if I really do.

I mean you can't fall in love within a month right?

I get ready for the day with my casual kaki shorts and a pink T-shirt. I left my hair alone not bothering to touch my subtle waves. Today I wasn't feeling as bad, as I thought I would. I should, I really should, I broke his heart.... I've never really seen him cry like that, it was scary...

Most of all I lied about it all just to see if, all was true. I was being selfish.

I was about to break when I realized my phone had been spammed all night long, with calls, and messages. Little by little I chip, witnessing all the I'm sorries, and please,and most of all I love you. I decided to just slip my phone in my back pocket and head out the door.

No Austin...

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I hadn't seen Austin so far today and I wondered if he ever came to school.

During the end of lunch I slip away from my table and go to my locker. My footsteps stop when I see Austin at the other end of the hallway. As he walks closer I can see the panic,and false hope in his darkened eyes. He looks like he didn't sleep all night. Also, the beanie an his pale skin tone give it all away.

When he tries to open his mouth and speak I wait..... but he says nothing and stares at the floor.

"I...." He stutters still looking at the floor.

But I quickly pass him, avoiding the conflict that could happen between us in this hallway. The guilt was weighing me down and my recent action took the cake, I want to cry again.... I'm being so cruel, but it's not like I can take that back.

Austin's P.O.V.

I've been up all night trying to figure out just what I'm supposed to do or say....

Girls are complicated...

But to my luck I find her and attempt to talk with her, but she just passes me. I don't want to repeat those two days, I can tell this time that, this will take longer if I don't figure out something soon.

I don't know if she didn't believe me when I said "I love you" but as tipsy as, I was. I meant it with all my slowly breaking heart and it seems she thinks that I'm all that I'm not. I couldn't believe everything she said..... or more of I couldn't process it. She thought the alcohol was speaking, but it wasn't when I said I love you I swear......

Last night I tried all I could do to get her attention but he wouldn't answer the phone, I even left one of those "I'm sorry" long paragraph messages.

Emma, has never been so cruel before. She is a kind sometimes quiet person, she's beautiful, funny, charismatic, charming and mine, well was. I want her to be mine again. I want to share laughs with her, I want to go on dates with her, I just want to kiss her, feel her touch, gaze at her when she zones out, and most of all just be there for her and I can't because I screwed it up.


When the bell rings it knocks me out of my thoughts, If I could talk to her now I would beg on my knees but she's long gone now.

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Another day has gone and I'm still alone....

She passes me in the hallways with the slightest look of forgiveness. I don't know what I'm supposed to do and at this point I'm sick to my stomach. I can't go to school and look at her cold grim looks, looks of disgrace and disapproval. Like she doesn't even want me on this earth, I wouldn't either. If I kept my lips off of hers half of the time; she wouldn't think that way.

Today, I'll just stay in bed and think off all the things I can do and say....

The school had called yesterday, another day I wasn't at school, and told me I had won the award for best "love" prompt and that I was supposed to present it on the last day of school which is next week. That whole essay is based off of Emma.....

It just proves that I love her, and her birthday is on the last day at school....

Proof that I do love her...

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It's 4:00 o'clock and I'm still laying in this bed, I haven't eaten anything since Monday. To my astonishment, this all happened over a glass of wine and Taylor of course...

If I had the strength I would walk next door and spill my heart out to her. I want her back I'm going insane thinking of what I can and say. Before Emma moved here I wasn't as confident, you can say I was quiet. My only friends were Zach, Alex, and Robert. But when she came I felt the need to impress that I knew a lot of people. I joined the football team, that's how I met Sebastian. All of it was an act but, now everyone knows me as the guy who fucked Cecilia, and I did two tragic times..... But now I only want Emma at this point I'll do whatever it takes.

All I want to know Is why she said those things, I doubt that she meant all of them...she knows me better than anyone.

Emma's P.O.V.

Three lonely days, and I should be the one to say sorry. But even if we got back together and, I couldn't bring myself to tell him why we split in the first place.... The summer days begin to roll in and I become glum when the daily showers come. This rain makes me feel more guilty than I should. Again it's all my fault, and I know Austin thinks it's all him to blame. I just want to know if he really does love me.

The last time I should've apologized for kissing him but I didn't Austin took the blame for screaming at me. This time around I believe it's all me completely.....

I should go talk to him but I can't, stopping my tears that are coming out right now isn't an option..... As I stand up from the dining table I make my way to the front door, I want to talk to him, well I need to.

I open the door to see him,standing there looks pale as the moon. His hair was pushed back from his face and he just shoved his hands In his pockets. Looking down at the floor he begins to start talking but I shut the door...

Why?