"Me Too"~ Austin Mahone Fanfiction

Chapter 34

I'm stupid I'm completely stupid.... or am I just afraid. He means so much to me, and I shut the door in his face. Nothing's gonna go back to normal unless I let him talk.

I've been having the same damn nightmare since we broke up, and it's killing me. I've been crying everyday yet I still won't fix this, the problem is I don't know why. Being with him was only a dream a month ago and it came true and then I blew it. This is all my fault and I'm letting him go through the pain I've caused, it's not right it's selfish.

I decide to trudge up my stairs and proceed to the shower. Once I'm completely in I sit down and just let it pour all over me. My tears have stopped when I come to realize that, I'm afraid of love.... My past relationships have been nothing but false hopes and love. It was all to use me and I fell for all of them. Austin never used me, or lied, all he wanted to do was make me happy.

I let Taylor get In .The way of that, I gathered all the negativity about our relationship and let it fill me..... Austin really does love me but I'm not sure if I feel the same..... It's overwhelming to know that someone loves you and you might not feel the same even though you have strong feelings for them.

Austin and I have had the greatest chemistry, but my selfishness got in the way. I literally hate myself for letting this happen. I should've ran into his arms and wiped the tears off his face and then....

I don't know If I can say I love him...

I love his company, face, him, his kisses, hugs, his perfection. I also loved the fact that I was able to call him mine. If I could walk off a cliff I would, because I don't deserve him.

I am a horrible person, and I don't want to be with someone who loves me and I can't say it back... That's not fair too him. I guess I've made my final decision....

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Austin's P.O.V.

I'm still standing here in the cold rain..... letting it fall on my face to wash away the tears.

I've been crying to much lately, and I get the feeling that she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore....

I walk back into my house and take off the wet T-shirt and beanie along with my pants. The only thing that's dry on me are my boxers. I hear the house phone ring and I walk slowly to retrieve it from the living room.

"Hello?"

"Austin baby, are you okay?!" My mothers voice boomed through the speaker. "Why didn't you go to school?"

"I'm... I'm not feeling good"I coughed

"Should I come home?!, Is Emma okay?"

"Emma's fine completely fine" I say before mumbling something under my breath.

"Austin tell me what happened...." She growled knowing something wasn't right.

"We....um..broke up.." I huffed. The pain of just saying that hurts it all hurts, all because of my decisions.

"Honey... -"

"I can't fix this mom, I messed it up for good.."

"Austin, don't say that because you can fix anything if you try, telling me that shows that you aren't..."

"It's not that easy! Every time I try talking to her she avoids me what am I supposed to do."

"She's hurt Austin that's all whatever you did or her; she's comprehending it all, she's going over everything and maybe talking to you at the moment won't help her it might make it worse..."

"That's..... confusing"

"Just look at what happened yourself see what you can find what's wrong and then fix it" she stated