NERD (Niam) (boyxboy)

23

I followed Liam out to where everyone was mingling and eating their finger food.

I still wasn't sure of why Liam let go.

Is he ashamed of me?

We haven't had that talk yet.

But I do have a feeling I don't want to.

Ever.

He went over to his mum and they began to chat, Liam running inside and leaving me with all these strangers.

"Louis!" I looked over to see Louis rushing towards me, Harry behind trying to grab him but failing.

"Well well well!"

"Louis you heard what Liam said!" Louis shrugged Harry's hand from his shoulder.

"The trash actually came to the party! I truly didn't think you'd show...Brave you are".

"Why wouldn't I show?" His smirk slightly faded but returned quickly.

"You've got a tongue today eh?" He walked closer and shrugged Harry away again. I can smell the alcohol in his breath and refrained from rolling my eyes.

"You're quite the confident bastard when you have alcohol in your system aren't you?" He growled.

"You're such a piece of trash no wonder your father left. He couldn't handle someone like you as a son and he was too ashamed to be related to someone as pathetic as you. I know you're using Liam and the second you show your true colours I'll be right there to break your fucking arms".

"LOUIS!" Harry yanked him back, making him yelp and I let a breath out that I didn't know I was holding. "I am this fucking close to leaving you! This is not who you are! You've already lost Liam and basically the whole school and you're pushing me away so hard that I don't even know you anymore! Fix this or I'm done. I'm serious Louis." Harry walked away, leaving Louis with a wide mouth and teary eyes.

At least I'm not the only one crying, right?

My father is a touchy subject...and Louis has never gone that far.

"LOUIS! What the fuck did you do!?" We both looked to see Liam running over, rage all over his expression. Louis' lip trembled as he looked down, shoulders slumped and walked away. Liam stood a few feet away from me, concern in his eyes. "What happened?" I wiped my eyes and cleaned my glasses with my shirt.

"Nothing". I decided not to wait for his words, I'm not in the mood for his mixed signals. I walked towards the drink table, grabbing a coke and bumping into mum.

"Oh Niall! I'm so glad we came, I've met so many lovely people and Karen is so nice and oh my gosh have you seen their house!?" I smiled at mums excitement and nodded.

"Yep it's huge". She grabbed a lemonade and looped her arm around mine, beginning to walk.

"Are you having a good time?" I nodded and gave her a small smile to assure her. "Karen invited us over tomorrow night for dinner, I told her we'd love to, is that okay?"

"Of course".

I'm not really sure I am okay with that. Since we left the pool house, Liam has barely touched me and I don't like it.

Like, is he avoiding me?

Am I an embarrassment?

Why won't he go near me?

Today is just not going well.

The sound of a spoon on glass interrupted us and everyones mingling died down.

"Hello everyone, I hope you're all having a lovely time". Karen began and I saw Liam and his dad next to her. "I just want to thank everyone for coming, it was wonderful to see everyone again." She moved aside and Liam stepped up.

"I just thought I'd let everyone know, the semi finals are next week and if we win we'll be in the grand final. I hope you can make it to support us but if you can't I understand. Priorities are important!" Liam's dad patted his shoulder.

"Thank you everyone. We actually invited you all here because we have an announcement". Karen and Liam smiled widely and I wondered on what the big news is because I didn't have a clue. "Payne Enterprises is going international" A round of cheers and applause erupted. "First stop is down under then if that goes well, we'll move to the U.S". The whistles and yells of excitement started up again and their grins widened. "Enjoy the rest of the day!" The mingling sound returned and Karen, Liam and his dad had small conversations with others, who were probably congratulating them.

"Maura!" I looked over to see a group of ladies waving mum over and she looked to me, asking if she could. I nodded and watched her walk away.

I loved seeing mum mingle and enjoy herself, she didn't do it enough.

It makes me upset that mum only ever works and looks after me. I sometimes feel it's my fault that she doesn't have any friends. Maybe it's mine and Greg's fault.

"Why would you even think you're welcome here!"

"You're such trash Maura"

"Go back to your trailer park"

"No wonder you didn't succeed in anything"

"Your children deserve to rot in jail"

"You raise your children to be criminals, murderers!"

I looked over to see the group of women spitting insults at mum and rushed over, grabbing her arm and pulling her to me.

"We're going". Mum was crying and I glared at the laughing group. "You're worse than teenagers". Their laughter died down and they looked shocked at my words.

"At least we don't kill people!" I shook my head and lead mum to the front door, taking her to the car and driving home.

She didn't say much, nothing at all actually.

She stopped crying but I could tell she was ready to break down.

It's not fair that she has to go through all of this.

I blame Greg, of course, but I also blame my father for leaving. I also blame myself. Maybe if I wasn't such a nerd, maybe if I wasn't gay, maybe things would be better. Maybe mum wouldn't have to suffer like this.

It always breaks my heart to see her cry, but it breaks my heart even more to see her try not to. I know she does it for my benefit but I don't need her to.

I helped her into the kitchen and grabbed a face washer, soaking it with warm water and ringing it out, lighting wiping at mums face, removing her makeup and the redness from her tears.

Her flushed face was slowly leaving and she looked down, avoiding eye contact.

"I'm so sorry". I frowned and shook my head.

"Don't be sorry. They were a pack of bitches". She gave me a disapproving look. "Sorry".

"I just don't understand what I did wrong. What did I do wrong with Greg? What did I do wrong with your father? What am I doing wrong for you?"

"MUM! Nothing! You've done nothing wrong. Please don't blame yourself for anything that has happened? It's not your fault. Now, you go rest, I'm cooking tonight". She tried to protest but I shook my head and shooed her away.

It truly breaks my heart to see her like that.

I wish I could do something.

Anything.

I wonder what tomorrow night will be like.

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HIIII

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