NERD (Niam) (boyxboy)

26

Arms grabbed my sides and I panicked, jumping and throwing my elbow backwards, hitting the person.

They groaned and gasped, making me look back to see Harry holding his junk with his face scrunched up in pain.

I was surprised to say the least that it was Harry.

"Oh I'm really sorry!" I kneeled in front of him. "You scared me". He nodded and groaned again.

"All good". He gritted out through clenched teeth as he frowned. The classroom door down the hall opened with a loud click and I looked to see Liam with a red, angry face. Harry looked too and frowned when he looked back to me. Liam didn't look our way but went the opposite way.

Harry took a deep breath and stood, holding his hand out to me.

I cautiously took it and he helped me up.

"What did he do?" I frowned at him and he sighed. "I have a free...Would you like to come with me for a walk?" I warily nodded and he began walking to the door, leading us out to the school grounds. "He rang me last night yelling profanities and wouldn't tell me what had happened for at least an hour. He said you dumped him for no reason...I knew he was angry and would do something stupid and then I saw you crying and I came to comfort you and you....yeah.." I blushed and looked down.

"Oh. Sorry". He waved his hand.

"Nah all good. So you wanna tell me what happened?"

"Why I broke up with him, or what happened before?" He shrugged.

"Both if you like". I took a deep breath and nodded.

"Well, at the party on Saturday he didn't really come near me. He was all out there when we were in their pool house thing like touching me and all, not shy in any way....But when we left the place, he didn't come near me. He barely acknowledged me. And I know he wasn't just busy because he had plenty of time to talk to other people. People that weren't me. He didn't introduce me to one person. He didn't even notice I had left. My whole life I've felt that way. I mean, I was trying my best to go to that damn party. I tried to fit in and ignore all those insults people had for him and he didn't even..." I took another deep breath. "I just thought more of him, y'know? I thought he wouldn't treat me like everyone else does. He was just so oblivious..."

"I told him you didn't break up with him for nothing". He had a small frown etched on his face and his lips slightly pouted. "He wouldn't listen". We were silent for a little bit until he broke it. "What did he do in class?"

"We were working on stereotypes...Everyone had their say and all, like, they were pretty relevant and Liam mentioned one where Jocks don't care. I mean, I know they do, but his example was shit. He basically said he cared on Saturday when all he did was think for himself. I stated I didn't agree and he went crazy. He....he said stuff about my brother and...he told me I act like I know everything when I don't...But I know I don't know everything. I have never thought that big of myself. He mentioned my brother in such a harsh way, it sounded like he was blaming me that his sister is gone....I already felt awful about that. It's so hard for me to get out of bed each day, knowing my own flesh and blood did such horrid things. It hurts me more than anyone. I still have dreams of that day. I still dream of when I thought my brother was a hero. I still wake up screaming from the trauma I've experienced. It's so hard for me. Being blamed for it...It makes things worse. I begin to believe it. Maybe if I wasn't born, he wouldn't have done it. Maybe if I wasn't born, he would've had a better life. Maybe if I wasn't born, our father wouldn't have left and he would've been okay. Maybe if I wasn't born...Everyone would be happier".

"Niall! Don't say those things!" He grabbed me by my shoulders and stopped to face me. "I know we aren't best friends or anything, but all of that is bull. Don't think those things, ever. They're no where near true, okay?" He sighed and removed his hands from my shoulders. "I broke up with Louis". I stared at him. My mouth open slightly from the shock of his words. I wasn't sure on what to say. "I know you knew we were together. I know you heard what I said on Saturday so surely you saw that coming". His eyes watered and I closed my mouth.

"I'm sorry". He shook his head and wiped his eyes, groaning and throwing his head back.

"I keep telling myself I won't cry. That I won't let him be a reason for my tears. But I love him. He means the world to me. He is my world....He's just not the Louis I Fell in love with anymore".

"Why are you talking to me now?" He frowned.

"I promised Louis I wouldn't talk to you. He said it hurt him. That it felt like I was betraying him. All I could do was try stop him from hurting you. He has problems. I'm not defending him. But he struggles with his loss really bad. He just wanted someone to blame and let his stress out on. I'm sorry". I shook my head.

"No I get it".

"I'm dumping my problems on you when you have much bigger ones than me. I'm sorry. It just came out".

"I may not have any friends, but I do listen to people y'know?" I let out a chuckle.

"I guess being newly single from the two most popular guys in school, we should stick together?" He playfully shoulder nudged me and I stared at him in shock. Is Harry Styles saying he wants to be my friend? Me? Niall Horan? "Unless you don't want to, which is perfectly okay". I shook my head.

"No! I'm just surprised is all". He let out a small chuckle.

"You're actually pretty cool Niall. I'm sorry I only started talking to you under such circumstances". I shrugged.

"You're pretty cool yourself Styles". He smiled lightly and we continued to walk.

I don't know how it happened, but I have a friend.

Harry Styles is my friend.

I may still be hurt and breaking inside...

I may miss Liam so much it hurts.

I may regret breaking up with him, but I did it because it felt right.

I can't go running back.

Harry is right.

We can't let them be the reason for our tears.

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