NERD (Niam) (boyxboy)

44 (final)

(triggering maybe???)

Hi all,

This is Liam,

this is the last and hardest chapter i've had to write. i've been dreading it through this journey but I think it's time to get on with my life.

I was thinking of doing this in Niall's point of view but i just don't understand what was going through his head and i don't think i'll ever be able to.

The day he took his own life was the worst day of my life.

I hope you've enjoyed my book, Niall left me his diary, asking me to share his story so I'm doing as he asked and sharing what he went through with everyone and trying to raise awareness of bullying and what it can cause.

I really should've seen the signs. After seeing his dad he was just....blank. He was staring at the walls, at anything for days.

Finding him lifeless was when I ended up in that zone. Going through major denial. Niall couldn't be gone.

I then had my breakdown.

Mum and Dad were stressing about me and I ended up being taken to emergency because I wouldn't eat.

Eventually I accepted what was.

The love of my life was gone.

That's it.

So moving on, three months later I finally gain the guts to read Niall's diary like he asked me to. What I found is what I shared. Well, most of it. Some parts I just couldn't bring myself to share.

But it's all real.

I didn't change a name, an event, a relationship, every single moment was real.

The day I got Niall's acceptance letter for his scholarship I smiled. I then frowned and began to cry. Niall would've succeeded so much in his life but I understand he just couldn't do it anymore.

Niall inspired me to become a writer, I'm now in my third year of university.

Louis is playing football for Doncaster, and Harry is currently making his first album.

Life does go on, but I will never forget Niall and all the laughter and love he spread.

Hope you enjoyed reading my book,

Technically Niall Horan's diary

And I hope we have raised awareness.

Liam Payne.