The ones I cannot forget

Spreading news

I stood up solemnly and slowly sauntered over to the bench. I couldn't stay there. I unwrapped my gloves from my nimble fingers and hugged them tight. Once I had let go I placed them on the bench. Patrick bought me those gloves.
" goodbye" I muttered, fingers already beginning to freeze. I trudged back to the duck pond but walked right next to it. With my shaky eyes I gazed across the ice, trying to guess how deep it was. I played mind games all the way back to work as not to let nostalgia take over, if it did I would start to cry again.
Once I was past the duck pond I counted my footsteps down the hill and judged them by how crunchy they sounded amongst the snow. Once I was out of the park I counted how many silver cars drove by. Once I walked through the work entrance I played the word association game in my head.
" bananas, yellow, colour, paint, paintbrushes, canvas, art" was all that echoed through my head. All until I noticed Lee standing right by the stairs I was about to walk up. I jerked around, now it was ok to like him so not all was lost.
" hey beautiful, nice lunch with Patrick?" He asked as he leant against the wall. I tried not to make eye contact but nodded. Just as I was about to walk away he swung around to face me, obviously noticing the red patches under my eyes.
" what happened gorgeous?" He asked, lifting my head up.
I didn't really know what to do, so I pushed the mind games aside and thought about my options. I could just be straight with him, but would Patrick like that I was spreading the news? Suddenly an idea flashed in my head, as if a lightbulb had lit up.
I was owed a week off by my boss, so I could take it this week and then a avoid all the awkwardness. It also meant that I could spread the news and leave Patrick alone to deal with it.
I clicked back into reality and shakily gripped the stair banister with my cold hands to steady myself.
" no, it wasn't a nice lunch. Me and Patrick split" I leant back but there was no need.now Lee had heard he knew I was single and could therefore treat me a bit more like a lover. He pulled me in close and it took me a while but I realised, Lee Natward was hugging me. I didn't know what to do, my heart dipped in my chest, but it felt so good. I wrapped my arms around him and allowed myself to cry a little more, regrettedly.
" shh, baby it's ok, you don't need him it's his loss" he soothed rubbing my back.
" it was due a while now everything was weird and not as it seemed." I wiped my eyes.
" I'm always here for you sexy"he rumbled sweetly.
" thanks, but I'm gonna take this week off anyway." I nodded, unbuttoning my coat.
" oh really?" His face fell and he actually seemed upset. " I'll miss you" he stroked my chin and pointed my face up to him. He could tell I was avoiding meeting his eyes.
" Yeah right. Have a nice week" I shook my head and pulled away from him. As much as i wanted him, I was still really upset about Patrick and felt unloved.
I hurriedly ran up the stairs which was a hard job when your shaking like crazy. I reached the office and Katie was sitting down at her desk.
" hey Autumn, how did it go?" She asked, not taking her eyes off the computer.
I pulled my sweaty arms out of the coat and hung it up, I had to redo this several times as I kept missing the hook.
"Stop shaking" I thought to myself angrily. This breakup was all my fault. If I noticed his hints I wouldn't be here in this situation.
" not well" I pulled out my blue cushioned chair and slowly sat down.
" why, you guys still not-" she caught my eye. " did you break up?" She dared herself to ask. She said it so hesitantly as she couldn't bring herself to say it.
" yeah, apparently he has been dropping me subtle hints about wanting to break up these last few weeks. He also said that maybe I was telling the truth about not cheating but seeing me with another man just wasn't good. The tip of the iceberg. But at least i know what's going on now." I explained to her.
" aww babes, it's his loss, he has lost a beautiful princess who is perfect" Kate smiled sweetly.
" thanks, but I'm not perfect" I giggled, wiping tears away. " but I have a plan" I winked through my cloudy eyes.
" what's that?" Katie stood up looking concerned.
" chill Kate, just taking my week off. I'm owed one anyway." I scooped up my papers, hands still shaking furiously.
" what already? Well actually I see why it could be awkward. Good for you, I will miss my buddy though"
"I'll stay for half hour just to prevent further provoking, I could have a panic attack. You won't miss me though you have my brother." I dropped the papers.
"Yeah I can tell, your panicking so sit back and relax. As for Leon he's my boyfriend, not the same as my amazing girl!" She laughed,hugging me.
It took ages for me to stop shaking, longer than I expected. I was still holding back all of the emotions which were bursting and bubbling inside of me. I carried on faking a smile and a laugh every so often, acting like I was way better than what I was. I tried to be brave, and I felt it as I had avoided a potential panic attack work, that would have been death!
" well it's Late I ought to be out of here" I scrolled down on my computer and clicked the "log off " button. The screen went black and I waited for the home page to pop up. Once it lit up my screen I turned the device off at the mains and gathered up all the paperwork on my desk. Just as I was filing them away I had a thought which made me stop suddenly.
" wait I need to tell the boss" I perked up and dropped the files, smacking my forehead. " of course I would forget the most important step."  I sighed.
" don't worry I'll email him and I won't say the real reason. I'll just say your taking it off for a family occasion and will Be back Monday yeah?" Katie asked supportively.
" thanks so much!" I couldn't express my thankfulnes.
I carried on putting away the files and then dusted the slushy snow off my coat before wrapping it around me. I grabbed my bag and walked over to Katie. She jumped up immediately to hug me and I twisted my arms around her, pulling her close. She smelt amazing. I tried hard not to cry but a tear splashed on her shoulder, I wiped it off before she could see it.
" thank you, I'm so sorry" I weeped.
" don't be sorry Hun, it's ok" he squeezed me tighter.
" no I have been so selfish, crying about myself all the time and not even asking about you and Leon" I sniffed.
" it's ok I don't mind, it's a big thing to break up with a boyfriend of two years I'm sure" Katie soothed again. We hugged in silence for a while longer before I hesitantly  pulled away.
" I gotta go, see you on Monday " I waved and sauntered to the door. As soon I was out of view I sprinted out to the staircase. The I stopped.
" my water bottle!" I muttered, so I took a sharp turn and walked to the staff base instead.
Loads of people where there, I guessed chilling for their break. I walked over to the sink where I had flashbacks of dropping it in stress earlier. The bottle wasn't there.
" I swear I left it here, when Sean-" my thought track was interrupted.
" looking for this cupcake?" I heard a rumble and spun around quickly, this was the second time today that I was faced with Sean. I couldn't believe he had the dignity to speak to me after earlier. He was holding my bottle up.
" yeah..." I could barely speak.
" a kiss for the bottle"he swiped the bottle out of my way like a little kid and chuckled heartily like an evil villain in a movie.
" no chance, keep the bottle" I pushed last him, pungent aftershave ruining my nose.
" ok I'm sorry. Don't ask don't get eh?" He smiled and threw my bottle on the table in front of me and stepped back. " I shouldn't do that when you are in a relationship" he sighed at himself.
" thanks but I'm not" I grabbed the bottle and stuffed it in my bag.
" what do you mean?" Sean asked, confused.
" me and Patrick broke up" I sighed, turning away in regret.
" oh so your back on the market ooh" he livened up suddenly.
" not yet and definitely not for you"
" later, for me?" He asked like a dog with a bone. He wasn't giving up soon.
" give up what we had was fun but you ruined it" I shook my head.
" hey you didn't say no" he laughed deeply.
" no, I'm taking this week off bye now" I swiftly turned out of the room and ran to the exit before hearing his reply.
" home time" I muttered, pushing the button for the exit, cold air hitting my face instantly. I shivered and stepped out into the snow.
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Hey guys, it's me! How did you like this part? So Autumn is struggling to deal with the break up but at least she is allowed to crush on Lee now. She still isn't ready for it though. She can leave now. How will she deal with the loss after she gets out if the building? How long can she had in her emotions until she bursts? Please comment as I love, love, love talking to you guys and please tell me what you think. Thanks for reading this far and I love you. Bye! Xxx