The ones I cannot forget

Anxiety✈️

It suddenly went dark and I clicked back into reality. We were under some sort of tunnel.
"I know right! What do you think Autumn?" Lily asked, noticing how quiet I had been.
"Um... It's so cool!" I exclaimed not knowing what they were taking about.
"Yeah same! I love them" Sarah nodded, eagerly staring out of the window.
I nodded too, completely confused.
"Oh wow look at this aeroplane!" Lee muttered to Ben. I looked out of a tiny crack in the wall of the tunnel. We had stopped. Through the crack I saw a giant metal aeroplane. It didn't look normal. We carried on driving almost as soon as I noticed it and drove up a big ramp. The tires screeched and lily screamed.
"Calm down you're so hyper" I giggled at her wide eyed expression. Sarah was laughing too. "And you omg" I laughed with her.
Lily started humming demonically.
"What are you doing now?" I asked, trying to keep a straight face for comedy reasons.
"Singing a death song" lily and Sarah all burst out in laughter and I couldn't help giggling. Luckily the bus made it up the ramp and onto a strange lit up room. The room was dark and empty apart from two other minibuses and three cars.
We parked up into a compartment and were locked in by a strange looking woman. She locked the huge metal door in front of us  and i guessed she did the same with one behind us. Kyle switched off the engine. Silence...
"I wonder if bats are on here?" Lily asked strangely.
"You're acting like your thirteen not twenty three" I playfully slapped her.
"Slut" she moaned, slapping me back. I heard a manly laugh.
"Don't call my girl a slut or I'll throw you of this plane!" Lee chuckled.
"PLANE?!" I shouted.  
"Yes beautiful were on a plane.How else would we get to Spain?" He asked.
"Well I know by plane but our minibus is on a plane??" I was so confused.
"Yes it's a new model, like Concorde but slower and better" he pushed his seat back.
"Ok then" I mumbled, starting to feel very anxious. He was messing with my mind, we weren't on a plane . A loud bang rang through the carriage, I screamed and wasn't joking.
"Woah that wasn't funny was it?" Lee noticed,spinning around urgently.
"Holy .....poo. We're on a car not securely held in on a plane! This isn't good" I muttered, sweat building up on my body.
"Autumn, you're so pale" his voice echoed in my head. I unplugged my seatbelt and moved to sit in front of Lee by a window seat.  He moved to sit next to me.
"What's up beautiful?" He asked.
"Ever since Sean left me.." I told him he whole story hesitantly.
"Serious anxiety?" He whispered. "You should have said gorgeous" he rubbed my back.
"I know I'm sorry it's difficult to talk about. Plus I used to fly all the time before him. The last flight I took he was next to me and there was no problem. This is the first flight since I was diagnosed" I explained.
"Oh ok, well you can stay with me and-"
" no Lee, it's ok. I'll go back now but thanks for everything." I muttered. I sat back next to lily and Sarah.
They bombarded me with questions asking if I was ok.
"I'm fine I just have flight anxiety" I smiled as good as I could, calming down slightly. We had been sitting here for ages now. Maybe we were already safely in the air?
"Hell its your captain speaking welcome to the American airways air-ferry. Today we will be flying to France. We will be taking off shortly so please go to the toilet while you can and prepare for take off. Once we are in the air I will inform you when and where you are allowed to use the toilets just like a normal flight. This has been your captain Jerry thank you and have a pleasant take off." An announcement boomed startling me.
"He seems nice, there's nothing to worry about" Sarah smiled warmly.
"Yeah and me and Sarah are right here by you're side" lily squeezed my had and I held it gratefully along with Sarah's. Lee had his hand on my knee for a but but soon got side tracked by a cool Pokemon on bens Pokemon go app and took it off to play.
"Please return to your seats we will now be taking off" Jerry the captain boomed after what felt like an eternity.
The feeling was indescribable. The bus was off and no one was in the drivers seat but it was moving. It didn't even feel like we were driving as the coach was shaking and wriggling as the plane taxied. If this was what taxiing felt like then I couldn't bear to think what actual take off would be.
I tried hard not to let my hands sweat but they were already shaking. I hope lily and Sarah thought it was the movement and not me actually shaking.
"You got this Autumn, you're strong" lily whispered.
"Yeah strong Autumn you go girl!"Sarah shouted louder. The plane stopped. It started up again, moving faster and faster. Sweat dribbled down my forehead and I met lee's eye.
"Baby girl, go on beautiful it's almost over. You can do it!" He joined in. He bent his head closer to mine " after what you just told me, you're the strongest person I know! You can't let a little flight bother you come on" he gently rubbed my arm. I felt the wheels lift of the ground and held in tears and screams.
"you did it!" Lee smiled before turning around to play Pokemon again.
"Yeah well done Autumn!" Lily hugged me.
"You rock! I told you it was all ok" Sarah hugged me too.
"Thanks guys!" I smiled, proud of myself as I didn't freak out front of  my meaningful crush.
"It's Jerry, we are now safely in the air cruising with what looks like a non turbulent ride ahead. We have six hours on this shuttle so you can now use Any of the toilets at the end of each carriage, and have a pleasant flight thanks guys" I breathed out a sigh of relief.
"It's all good" lily whispered to me.
"Thanks" I hugged her again for being so supportive and allowed myself some relax time to calm down.
I decided the best way to not panic was to sleep. So while Sarah played on her phone me and lily leant into eachother. We relaxed, eyes closed, heads together. After five minutes she shifted.
"Ugh can't sleep. Don't let me stop you Autumn" she patted her knee, sitting up. So I silently nodded as to say thanks and laid my head on her knee, it was surprisingly comfy.
Because my eyes were closed at first I didn't notice Lee staring at me. But my phone buzzed in my pocket and I had to get up to turn it on silent. When I opened my eyes I caught Lee locking eyes with mine, smiling. As soon as he saw me he looked away and nudged Ben as if he was talking to him all along. I snorted at how obvious he was, switched my phone on silent and lay back down.
I knew I wasn't going to fall asleep but laying here was relaxing. I thought about my excitement, fun in Spain, Lee and my friends being so supportive. I hated anxiety and wondered whether telling Lee was the best idea.
Maybe it would force him to commit. I wished he would. Visions of him saying "let's go steady... My beautiful girlfriend" and I would cry out with happiness and throw my arms around his neck then...
I drifted off to sleep.
I woke with a jolt, kicking my legs and punching with my arms.
"Falling dream?" Lily asked smiling fondly.
Flashbacks of me and Lee jumping down a rabbit hole hit me.
"Yeah that was weird. I jumped down a hole" I laughed smiling. That nap had made me feel so refreshed. I didn't even care I was on this plane anymore.
"You slept for a solid hour" Sarah giggled at me, and lily did too. Soon we were all laughing.
Nothing interesting happened for the next four hours. We slept, snacked, watched YouTube and generally hung out, chatting. It was all going so well, watching Lee chat to Ben and having fun with my close friends. All until we got an announcement.

"Ladies and gentlemen we will be landing in a few minutes so please finish up in the toilets and return to your seat, if already in your seat please buckle up" I shivered, thinking of pelting downwards to death.
I shakily plugged in my seatbelt. "Omg Autumn you look like you have Parkinson's" I sighed at myself, staring at how I was shaking. I didn't understand why I was so anxious, it was fine before I was diagnosed after what Sean did.
I gulped and gripped onto the fabric seats, sweating into that. I waited nervously, baited breath. How was this going to go?

Hellllloooooo! It's me! So how was this chapter? Autumn made it into the air with Lee, Ben, lily and Sarah. She must be pretty anxious for landing though. Will the landing be ok? Can Autumn control her fear enough not to have a panic attack in front of everyone? Pleas comment as talking to you guys is as satisfying as eating a huge piece if white chocolate..... Mmm. Yum. Love you all for reading so far and it's time to go. Bye bye !!! Xxxxxxxx