empire ;; phan

chapt. sixteen

the moon.

"you want to go to the diner?" chris exclaims as the two drive, a beat up and bloody phil unconscious on the back seat.

"chris," dan whines, "trust."

chris doesn't really say anything for the rest of the trip, which, unfortunately, gives dan too much time to reflect. he did this. he put phil's life in danger. if dan wasn't such a fucking junkie than phil would've walked away, had he not been drugged up on heroin. dan hated himself for this. he rarely admitted to anything, let alone felt guilty about it. he didn't even blame himself when he, dan howell, loaded, pulled and fired the handgun that killed pj. if phil died, dan might never recover. if phil resented him for this, dan would never recover.

"jesus, you're bleeding so much-"

"well, i did get shot. twice."

the second the bright neon lights of the diner are in sight, dan is dragging himself inside, breathing heavy as the blood drips out of his wounds. he's useless at helping carry phil, so he waists no time in asking and pushes through the doors.

"annette!" dan cries, "annette, it's dan!"

the older woman rushes out from the kitchen, a towel over her shoulder. she gasps in shock, immediately running over to help.

"where are you bleeding from? when were you shot?" she fusses, half carrying the injured boy to the back.

"don't worry about me- it's phil, he's-"

annette pushes everything off the cooking prep area, the pots and pans clanging against the tiles and making dan wince as chris tries to gently lay phil down.

"dan, pass me my bag, please," annette asks and dan nods, reaching back to grasp her purse of medical supplies.

"shouldn't we take you to the hospital? both of you?" chris sobs, looking around frantically.

annette chuckles. "oh no, honey. not for this. not for daniel." chris watches in shock, tears spilling out of his eyes in dripping salty runnels.

"it's alright," dan smiles, pulling up a chair weakly, bloody fingers gripping his arm, "she's been fixing me up for years. used to be a nurse in the army, this one. i trust her with my life."

"thank you, my love. i will be here until the day i die, but you know that." she says warmly, wiping the blood from phil's face. "can you- shit."

"what?" dan panics, going to stand but collapsing back into the chair, cursing out in pain.

phil starts to vomit, gagging on the blood and saliva foaming from his mouth. his body spasms, jerking and twitching uncontrollably.

"has he been on anything?" annette demands, searching her bag desperately.

"no way!" chris exclaims, "phil doesn't do drugs-"

"i gave him heroin," dan blurts, eyes watering.

"excuse me?" chris screeches, "you gave him heroin? i knew you were bad news! all my life, i've been trying to keep him away from shit like this! he's been addicted before! i can't lose him again! i just got him back and you're going to take him away!"

dan starts to cry, from pain and guilt and his head is so fucking light from blood loss and being overwhelmed that he can't help himself. his tears are loud, ugly sobs that annette works around, shoving beneficial needles in phil's arms and stuffing his throat with tubes.

"i'm so fucking sorry," dan hiccups between sobs and then with soft whispers, "what do i do, pj?"