What Should Have Been

Part 9

Sam had made himself an appointment at St James to see a consultant after the headaches had worsened. He didn't want to risk anyone seeing him at Holby so took the safer option of a different hospital. However it hadn't gone quite as he had hoped.

Walking out of the hospital he took a deep breath looking along the street. He'd been told that he really needed to consider the option of accepting treatment yet he was still reluctant. He'd seen what the process could do, and it wasn't appealing. Yet on the flip side, it offered him the chance to recover.

Glancing at the time he shoved his thoughts to one side and rushed towards Holby. He had a meeting about taking up a surgeon position at the hospital again, but they were yet to find out about his health. Sam was reluctant to mention it yet, maybe he could get away with telling them later?

Connie was wandering around the department towards cubicles. "Charlie has that patient been transferred to Darwin yet?" "Just going now. There's an incoming RTC expected in 10 minutes." She nodded once before grabbing various members of staff and directing them on where to go. "Charlie with me... Dr Chao can you take the second patient with Nurse Freeman?" She didn't wait for a response, instead strolled straight outside with Charlie.

They stood in silence for a moment before he glanced over to her. "So... Anything new you wanted to tell?" Connie frowned glancing to him before folding her arms. "Excuse me?" "Just, there must be a reason behind that smile you keep trying to hide." She scoffed rolling her eyes as she turned back to the empty street.

Her mind wandered to him and she could feel the corners of her mouth turning up. She shook her head looking back to Charlie. "There's nothing, no-one okay?" He nodded shrugging his shoulders. "If you say so..." Connie rolled her eyes once again stepping down from the path as the ambulance doors were opened.

Sam made his way into the hospital and upstairs onto the familiar ward. Wandering around he looked round noticing all the little details that had changed in the three years he'd been absent. "Sam?" He hadn't heard anyone approaching him so the voice startled him. Spinning around he came face to face with one very familiar face.

"Elliot. It's good to see you again." He took no time in coming forwards to embrace Sam who just laughed before standing back up. "What are you doing here?" "I'm back for a possible job. America was fun while it lasted, but it seems you can never really forget this place." Elliot watched as he looked around, slightly worried about how a particular clinical lead would react as his appearance, not knowing she was already aware.

Downstairs Connie was taking a break feeling incredibly run down. She was getting herself a coffee when she turned knocking into someone. As she went to speak his voice stopped her. "Always were falling at my feet." "Don't flatter yourself." She glared up at him playfully before they both realised his hands were still on her waist. "Sorry..."

Connie nodded stepping past him while Sam went towards the counter. "That stuff's no good for you, you know." She bit her tongue turning back to look at him noticing him paying for his own drink. "And you've stopped drinking the stuff since when?" "Oh no I never stopped." Connie rolled her eyes as they wandered slowly out of everyone else's way.

"Are you following me?" "No. No, I had a meeting upstairs." Connie raised an eyebrow taking a sip of her coffee. "Work?" "Maybe, why hoping to see my face more?" "Please..." She rolled her eyes missing the smile that came to his face. They walked in silence towards her office before stopping in her door way.

They both had things they needed to say to the other, yet whenever they were with one another it was the last thing on their minds. Sam watched Connie lean against the doorframe of her office looking to the department. "Are you on a break?" She moved her eyes back to him with a quick nod. "Fancy going for a walk?" Connie went to say no but something stopped her. "Depends if you're about to gloat about yourself or not-" "No promises."

She pushed away from the wall following him outside and into the gardens around the side of the hospital. "How's Grace?" Connie shuddered as the news she was hiding resurfaced before quickly covering it up. "Oh the occasional tantrum and stubbornness as always-" "Like her mother then?" Connie smirked sarcastically as they took a seat on the bench beneath the trees.

Sam was sat closer than he had anticipated to Connie. As he took a breath he could smell her sweet perfume. He closed his eyes remembering how it infiltrated his lungs the last time they were this close to each other. "This job then? Is it permanent-" "I hope so... I have a feeling I'll be sticking around for some time."

Connie couldn't pull her eyes away from his as he spoke. "Something got you hanging around then?" "Something along those lines." She nodded looking away as Sam continued to watch her before following her gaze into the distance. "So... I don't have to work this Saturday night." Sam went to speak before closing his mouth and nodding.

Both knew what they wanted, yet neither of them would say it. "Got anything planned?" "Oh you know, a night in with Grace and a pile of paperwork no doubt." Things became quiet again while they both continued to think and drink. "Well, if you're not doing anything maybe I could take you out to dinner?"

Connie moved her eyes back to him with a smirk. "It's a nice offer but I don't think it's very smart do you?" Sam nodded knowing the games she played were only just starting. "Well it was just a suggestion, besides I'm sure there's a long list of people at your door still waiting for dinner."

She scoffed looking back to him as he laughed. "You never change do you?" "I like to think not Mr Strachan." The way she said his name bought back so many feelings that it was hard for him to ignore. Before Sam could speak again someone from the ED came around the corner. "Sorry t interrupt, you're needed in resus." "Okay Charlie, thank you."

He walked away with a smile while Connie stood up running a hand back through her hair. "I best get going, leave you to your precious department-" "Mmm probably a good idea." Sam smiled getting up walking back towards the hospital with her. "I guess I will see you around Mrs Beauchamp-" "I guess you will." She dropped her coffee cup into the bin before disappearing inside feeling his eyes boring into her as she left before he turned himself around and headed home.