What Should Have Been

Part 25

Thank you so much for all the comments on this, I hadn't assumed it to be so enjoyed seeing as it's not Jonnie... Anyway hope this makes up for some of the previous pieces sort of... ☺️

The ED had been quiet all morning leaving Connie plenty of time to catch up on the paperwork she had been falling behind on. She'd spent the last few days at home with Grace focusing on anything except reality. Connie had been working for a few hours but found herself walking through the corridors coming back from transferring a patient.

She was looking through the patients file before colliding with someone. "Sorry I-" "Sorry..." Connie looked up seeing Sam straightening up. He tried to smile but the cracks showed through it. They both suddenly felt the walls closing in as they struggled to find the words to talk to each other.

Nothing had been exchanged between them for days, and Connie had been reluctant to face him after the other night. She knew he cared, but it didn't stop her from feeling some anger towards him for not telling her sooner. Mostly though she was scared, scared of losing someone she had only just got back into her life.

Someone else walked along the corridor causing them to step aside before Connie coughed. "How are you?" "Fine..." Connie nodded holding the file closer to her chest while Sam pushed his hands into his pockets. "How's Grace?" "Yeah she's good, asking why you haven't been about to read her stories but she's okay."

Sam nodded solemnly with a hint of a genuine smile before Connie sighed. "Look I have to go, I've got a meeting upstairs... I should really get to it on time, they run late enough without me not showing up." "Oh, yeah of course." Connie stepped out of the way looking to him once more before walking away.

He'd been dreading this ever since the day he was told. Facing treatment, the side effects you could have and the possibility that not even this would change the outcome. Sam made his way upstairs slowly having to wait for no more than five minutes before being called inside. This was it...

Connie had returned to the ED but her mind had been occupied with Sam ever since she'd bumped into him. Normally she could push it to the back of her thoughts and get on with work however today was different. After hearing Grace speak about him so much, having Elliot try to talk sense into her as well as Charlie, and now the realisation that he was upstairs in a meeting about where he goes from here made everything sink in.

She got up from her chair leaving everything strewn across her desk. The closing of her office door caught Charlie's attention before he noticed the look on her face. "Connie?" "I need to be somewhere, will you be okay down here for a while?" Charlie looked to the worry etched on her face as he nodded. "Of course... If you need me."

Connie forced a smile before wandering quickly towards the stairs out of the department. As soon as she'd made it up the first flight out of the department she began to run. Her heels wouldn't carry her much faster but she desperately tried to get there as soon as she could. She had no idea if he'd even want her there after how she'd been acting but she couldn't let him do this alone.

People stopped to glance at Connie as she ran through the corridors, pushing doors open never stopping for a second. It wasn't until she made it to the set of doors leading to the department she needed that she finally slowed. With her heart pounding in her chest she looked about to see if she could see Sam anywhere. When she couldn't spot him, she clenched her jaw heading for one door in particular.

Sam shook hands with the consultant forcing a grin which he knew was pointless. He took a seat feeling his knees shake before he relieved his weight from them. His hands began to shake so he placed them on the arm rests, holding on as though he would fall at any moment.

To begin with, the idle chat began to grate on him feeling it was ridiculous to start such a meeting in this way. At the end of the day, it was what it was. He had cancer and there was no fluffing that up. All this tiptoeing about helped no-one so why bother now?

"I'm sorry but can we just get on with this?" "Of course Mr Strachan, sorry. I-" He was cut off as the door was the door was pushed open and Connie came tumbling through it. "Excuse me we-" "Sorry, don't mind me..." She closed the door leaving the consultant sitting with a confused frown.

Sam's eyes were transfixed on her as she came into the room sitting in the chair beside him. "Connie Beauchamp, sorry I was late-" "I didn't know anyone was coming with Mr Strachan." Connie forced a smile leaning back as she crossed one leg over the other. Sam finally lifted his eyes from the floor looking to the consultant. "It's fine, she can stay..." He nodded before continuing with what he began to say.

"I've reexamined your scans and it has progressed in the last four months I'm afraid." Connie looked at the fear in Sam's face before she reached across placing her hand on his. Immediately he moved his hand to lace his fingers with hers, squeezing her hand. She closed her eyes briefly before looking back to the consultant. Connie took a deep breath before focusing on his words knowing that Sam wasn't going to take much in at all.

"It has spread slightly, but we can control it if we start treatment soon." "What are we talking?" Sam's voice sounded shattered causing Connie's heart to ache that little bit more. "I suggest we begin chemotherapy as soon as possible, weekly appointments and see after a month how it is affecting you." Connie looked to see Sam staring down at their hands.

Connie turned her head back away from him to look at the consultant. "This is treatable right? He has every chance of getting through this?" "There is no reason to believe that Mr Strachan won't." Connie released a breath internally as she nodded. The meeting lasted another half an hour as they continued to discuss where they go next.

Sam had kept hold of her hand the entire time only releasing it when he shook hands with the consultant. It wasn't until they'd left the room and were wandering down the stairwell that the silence was broken. "Why'd you come?" Connie turned to look at him as he stared out of the window. "Seriously?" Sam glanced to her raised brow. "Because I l-" "Please don't lie Connie."

She inhaled before looking out of the window as he was. "The truth? Because when I told you I loved you I meant it Sam." His eyes bore into her as she let her head rest in her hands. "I love you and I can't let you face this alone." "Thank you." Connie lifted her eyes to meet his seeing he'd taken a step closer to her.

Twisting her body to face him he let his hands fall to her waist. She raised hers to cup his cheeks moving her lips onto his. It was a gentle kiss full of emotion as they kept hold of one another. A few people wandered past on the corridor at the top of the stairs looking down on them, but Connie didn't care who saw them.

Pulling away from his lips he noticed the tears in her eyes. "Hey-" "Please keep fighting this, I can't lose you when I've only just got you back." He forced a smiled kissing her again. Staying close to her he looked into her eyes. "I promise you I'll fight for as long as I can... I love you too Connie Beauchamp." She smiled sadly resuming the kiss before remaining in each others embrace.