What Should Have Been

Part 4

Glancing back around the room seeing all his possessions laid out where they belonged made him consider whether this was really the right choice. Before he could question himself he walked to the door picking up the black bag pulling it over his shoulder. His phone began to ring from the table once again, the consultant not wanting to give up on his view that treatment was his best chance.

Sam ignored it leaving it to ring beside his wallet. He grabbed his passport and the keys from the side before taking hold of the small suitcase handle dragging it from the flat letting the door close gently behind him. He locked the door before posting the keys back through the door with a sigh.

That was it. Everything here about to be left behind. Something was convincing him that leaving this life behind meant that he could leave behind the news he'd been given only days ago. Everything had happened so quickly that he hadn't had time to stop and think since it had all happened. Emails were sent, calls were made and now there he was, the airport looming high above him.

The heat outside that day was unbearable but he barely noticed. To him it was something he could happily leave behind, forget about entirely. His bag dug into his shoulder as he hauled it higher before taking the first steps away from the taxi rank.

It was almost impossible to not collide with people as he wandered towards the check-in desk. Everywhere he looked there was someone rushing by not caring for those in the immediate space around them. Pulling the suitcase behind him he narrowly avoided people who weren't looking where they were going. No wander there were so many strange accidents admitted to the hospitals here.

Inside the airport was no better than it had been outside. The warmth rising ever so slowly along with the foul smell omitted by the high numbers of people here. Holding his breath he dodged his way through the crowds and up to the desk. As soon as he made it he sighed in relief receiving a smile from the woman behind the counter. "Rough day?" "Could say that..."

He stood there side tracked, thoughts running through his head. "Have you got your passport sir?" Sam snapped back realising he'd been standing there aimlessly before holding it out with his ticket. "Sorry-" "No problem... The heat does things to even the best of us." Sam offered a warm smile in return before placing his suitcase onto the conveyer wandering towards his gate.

For once in his life his flight wasn't delayed and the images of home infiltrated his mind. Without the suitcase lagging behind him, it was a lot easier to jump through the crowds of people. Although he wasn't as fit as he once was, life had taken a toll on him recently. He made it to the side of the airport out of the way of those rushing by.

It had been some time since he'd flown anywhere, he had no need to. The only family around was his mother but their physical contact was rare. Turning his wrist over he checked the time sighing seeing how long he had until the plane was due to leave. He decided to wander towards a coffee stand, getting himself a drink and taking a seat.

Sitting there he began picturing things that maybe he shouldn't right now. How does she look now? Does she still wear the heels religiously? Do they still call her ice queen? Does she even work at Holby anymore? His head snapped up as the barrister began calling out a name. "Connie?" His eyes darted across the floor until a young girl skipped up to the counter with her mother.

Sam relaxed back into his chair running a hand over his face. Why he thought it could be her he didn't even know. It was just hearing that name made him more alert all of a sudden. He didn't get a proper glimpse of the woman but he knew it couldn't be her, not really. For starters she wouldn't be in America, and then there was the young child clinging to her hand. Connie would never have a child, she wasn't the type.

As he sat there alone, his flight was called to begin checking in much to his delight. Standing up he strolled slowly towards the gate in no hurry. He got in line seeing the mother and daughter from earlier ahead of him. A smirk came to his face as he looked down to the floor waiting to finally get on board.

He tapped his pockets in search for his phone before remembering he left it at home. The relief that flooded him at knowing he would have no means of contact for many people now was shocking. Surely leaving a life behind that you'd had for three years should be hard? Yet he felt nothing but joy about being able to break away.

"Tickets please..." Sam swiftly pulled his out of his pocket passing it over as they scanned over it. He always became nervous at this part. Security he could handle, but for some reason the thought that they may not let him board daunted him. "Have a nice flight." Releasing a breath he didn't realise he'd been holding he took it back smiling and moving through.

Climbing the steps of the plane was more of a task for everyone than you'd expect, especially in this heat. One final glance around he could honestly say he was happy to leave this place. America wasn't for everyone, it certainly hadn't been for him. Ever since he'd got here he felt like he had left a part of himself in Holby, he just didn't realise how true that was.