What Should Have Been

Part 47

The day started like any other and for once in her life she didn't question the mood she arrived at the hospital in. The way she felt now seemed to be a recurring feeling and it no longer frightened her that things felt so good. Yet nothing prepared her for this.

"Morning Connie." "Morning Charlie, how's the department this morning?" "All quiet, you've got a patient incoming ETA 5 minutes but not a lot else." Connie smiled warmly to the older nurse before disappearing into her office.

On her desk there was a small bunch of flowers with a white card standing tall in the top. She frowned with a smirk as she placed her bag down, reaching forwards to pluck the card from the top.

Me, you and a hotel room ~ this weekend, no excuses.

Connie rolled her eyes discarding the note looking to the flowers once again. Sam had been promising a night away for weeks but they'd both been too busy to do it. Now they finally had the time they needed something was bound to come up and destroy it one way or another.

Her eyes darted up hearing the commotion from outside as the patient was wheeled into the department. She grabbed her stethoscope moving from the room as she joined Iain. "This is Emma, 36, found in her hotel room unconscious this morning." Connie's eyes looked over the younger woman before refocusing on her notes.

"Okay Emma I'm Mrs Beauchamp, clinical lead here can you tell me where it hurts?" Emma writhed about in pain as Connie began to assess her. "Can you feel this?" She pressed to a small section of her abdomen causing her to nod. "Okay I want bloods, LFTs Us and Es, and do a urine sample... Arrange an abdo CT and page an anaesthetist, put them on hold."

Nurses began rushing about doing as she'd ordered before she administered some pain relief. "Okay Emma that should help ease the pain for now. Can you tell me, is there any chance you could be pregnant?" She scoffed with a laugh before rolling her head to meet Connie's gaze. "I lost a baby two years ago and haven't come close since-" "I'm sorry-" "Don't be, he left after that anyway... Couldn't love me like he did her."

Connie forced a smile before looking to Charlie. "Keep an eye on her, regular obs... I want to know if anything changes." He nodded as she moved towards the end of the bed before her voice stopped her. "Did you say your name was Beauchamp?" Connie looked round nodding briefly. "Yes why?" She shook her head keeping her expression neutral. "Thought I'd misheard you earlier." Emma forced a smile as Connie turned away to walk out of the room before dropping her head down to the bed.

Before leaving the room Connie turned back. "Excuse my asking, but you don't sound like you're from around here." Emma sat up looking towards her again. "I'm not, New York. I came here looking for someone... Someone I shouldn't have let go." Connie nodded letting her eyes linger on the patient for a moment longer before she disappeared.

Sitting at the nurses' station she couldn't help but think there was something more to this. Flicking through the few notes they had she looked to her history noticing  nothing out of the ordinary. The American accent replayed in her head before Connie looked up to the room she was currently in. Recognition finally sinking in. The voice, the baby, the bitterness, the name it all added up.

Connie slowly released a breath before closing her eyes as she massaged her temples feeling a headache begin. Someone I shouldn't have let go... Connie lifted her head to look into the room again. She couldn't be serious. "Smile." "Huh?" She looked sideways to Charlie who was leaning against the desk. "You look like the world's about to end... What's on your mind?" "What? Nothing... Just something about this patient is bothering me."

Charlie nodded noticing the expression on her face but decided not to dig any deeper. "I think I saw Sam arrive with Grace earlier-" "What? Where?" He noted the look on her face before nodding towards her office as she rushed away from him.

Pushing the door open she caused Sam and Grace to look up to her quickly. "Con-" "Why are you here?" "I- I thought I'd come and see you, has something happened?" Connie sighed closing her eyes before feeling his hands on her waist. Releasing a slow deep breath she shook her head. "Everything is fine." Forcing a smile she watched as Sam shook his head. "Just a patient I've got. Playing on my mind."

Minutes later Charlie was in the doorway. "Sorry Connie, you're needed in resus." "Five minutes, I'll be back." She placed a kiss to Grace's cheek moving from beside her into the department. Connie moved into resus where Emma was in no better condition than she had been when she arrived. There was no denying the bitterness Connie now felt in treating this woman but she wouldn't let her know that.

"Emma? Emma can you still hear me?" She nodded before taking a deep breath. "Alright increase the morphine please and rush CT. I need her results." Connie was too busy to notice anyone outside before the door to resus opened gently. "Con we're off-" She looked up hearing his voice stop abruptly before seeing where his eyes lay.

Connie gritted her teeth looking between Emma and Sam. He stepped into the room a little more before the sound of Connie's heels across the floor snapped him back to reality. She walked passed him without looking at him or saying a word. "Con-" "Don't." Pulling her hand away from his she smiled to Grace picking her up. "How about you and I go for a walk?" Grace smiled with a nod before Sam's voice stopped her.

"Connie why is she here?" "You want to know? Ask her." Connie's glare moved from beyond the doors as she walked away with her daughter leaving Sam where he was. He was unsure if he wanted to go in there and know, but he couldn't leave it.

Carefully moving inside her head turned to face him as he stopped beside the bed. "Emma what's going on?" "I don't know, the doctor's running some tests." He nodded glancing to her charts causing her to stifle a laugh. "You're still the same Sam, always being the doctor." "Actually I'm not the same Sam."

Emma arched a brow looking to him with a smirk. "Could have fooled me... She seems nice anyway, not what I thought of when I pictured the woman you left me for-" "Emma-" "No no, it's fine. So I see it all worked out for you?" A sort of smirk had come to her face as Sam folded his arms. "Until she realised who you were, yes. You know, she's done everything for me... You come back and for what? To see what you don't have?"

"Done everything for you? She seems like she'd barely lift a finger for anyone but herself-" "Yeah well I suppose when someone you care about has cancer it changes a lot of things." Her face dropped immediately as she searched his face for some sign of a lie. "You have cancer?" He nodded once. "W-what-" "Brain tumour, found out before I left America. I don't even know why I'm here, I should be out there running after her-" "Sam..." He looked back to her as she sat forwards. "Please, can't we just talk?" "Talk? You want to talk while the people I love more than life itself are out there?" "People?" Emma watched him suspiciously before he nodded.

Sam looked to her once more feeling nothing for her as she sat there. "Like I said, I'm not the same guy anymore... I'm a father and I'm not about to give all that up for you." Emma could do nothing but watch on desperately as he walked away from her.