What Should Have Been

Part 76

Sam sat on the sofa moving the envelope round and round in his hands. He continued looking at the stamp at the top which gave everything inside away. With the last few weeks all of this had been the last thing on his mind.

He continued staring at the envelope playing with it in his hands before hearing the front door close. He quickly pushed it down the side of the sofa replacing the pillow on top of it. Connie wandered in with a pained expression moving her hand against the side of her stomach. "Hey you're back early, is everything alright?"

Connie looked up to see Sam sitting on the sofa just looking at her. "What? Yeah I'm fine, just your child causing me issues this morning." "My child?" "Yes. When they're acting like this, they are well and truly your child." She groaned sitting down before jumping up almost immediately moving towards the bathroom.

When she emerged sometime later Sam had disappeared but in his place lay a pile of blankets on the end of the sofa, some comfy clothes and a baggy jumper placed on top. She smiled gently wandering closer, reaching forward for the clothes. Hearing the kettle boiling she looked up to see Sam smiling towards her.

"Go get changed and I'll make you up a drink." Connie stepped back out of the room quickly returning and settling down on the sofa. She unfolded the duvet throwing it over herself becoming comfortable. Her hand fell naturally to her stomach tracing gentle circles across her bump.

Shuffling around she leant into the cushion feeling something beneath it. Moving slightly she pulled the envelope up from beneath the pillow seeing the hospital's stamp in the top corner. A frown passed her lips before she pushed it back down beside her as Sam entered the room.

Forcing a smile she held out a hand to accept the hot chocolate he passed over. "Thought you could use this too, I heard it can help." He passed her a hot water bottle which she immediately took placing behind her aching back as she re-settled into the sofa. "Can I get you anything else?" "You can sit down for five minutes and give me a hug?"

Connie batted her eyelids causing him to smirk as he slipped down onto the sofa beside her. He lifted an arm as she leant into his side resting her head to his chest. She released a deep breath finally becoming comfortable in his embrace as he trailed his fingers lightly over her shoulder.

They sat with one another, the TV on quietly in the background as they enjoyed the serenity of the house. Connie continued playing things over in her mind as to why the letter would be hidden and unopened by Sam. She knew what would be inside but why was he so reluctant to open it.

Sam sat beside her watching as she fit together with him. Nothing mattering in that moment except her, until he remembered the letter he had received that morning. The very one that was beside her as they sat on the sofa.

"Sam?" He sighed with a smile glancing down at her as she turned to look up at him. "Pass it here..." Connie picked up the letter looking down at it before handing it to him noticing a complete shift in his expression. "Why'd you hide it Sam? Why hide it from me-" "It wasn't from you." "Then who? Our four year old daughter, or the unborn one?"

Sam sat forwards moving his head to rest into his hands. "I wasn't hiding it from you Con-" "No I can see how a letter ends up pushed down the side of the sofa, it's where I put all my important results!" "I was hiding from myself!" He pushed up from the sofa storming across the other side of the room.

Connie frowned watching him unsure of what to make of his mood shift. "I couldn't open it earlier Con, so I put it away and put it to the back of my mind. Okay?" She watched him as he turned around wandering towards the kitchen. Standing up she reached for his hand put he just pulled it away heading for the back door.

Standing still where she was she just watched him unable to think of anything to say. Sam wandered outside taking a deep breath as he glanced up at the sky before sitting down on the step.

The cool evening air blew around him gently as he sat alone, taking in the silence of the garden. He found his eyes glazing over before dropping his head to his hands. He cursed himself as he thought about the contents of the letter in his pocket.

Connie stepped out beside him taking a seat and pulling the blanket tighter around her shoulders. She reached a hand forwards placing it to his cheek as a stray tear rolled down his cheek. "I couldn't take anymore of this Connie, what if this doesn't come back like we want it to-" "Then we'll do it together Sam because that's what we've done all along."

He placed a hand on top of hers before taking the letter into shaky hands. Connie shuffled closer showing him she was right there for him, whatever this said. They'd been able to close the doors on everything this world held for them for a while but now faced with it head on, the weight of it was beginning to show.

Sam read through the letter nervously before tears fell faster than before. "It's gone Con, it's really gone..." She looked up throwing her arms around his neck as she held onto him, feeling his tears fall on her shoulder. "I love you so much." Sam's arm were around her holding on as he let the news sink in.

"I can't believe it..." Connie sat up a little moving her hands to both his cheeks. "We can finally move on." She nodded with a smile as she brushed her thumbs beneath his eyes. Leaning forwards he placed a gentle kiss to her lips. "I'm sorry for snapping-" "Don't be, I was just worried about you."

He laughed shaking his head before holding her hand in his. "Come here you... It's just the four of us, it's always going to be the four of us... I love you." He kissed her lips gently before dipping lower to her stomach. "And I love you too baby, so, so much." Connie laughed as Sam placed a kiss to her tummy before pulling her into his side.

Sitting beside one another, they remained in the cool evening air for a while. Happy in the others company as thoughts of everything their future held played through their minds.