What Should Have Been

Part 26

Sam didn't want to leave the house today. Nothing was appealing to him, and why would it be? He looked into the mirror at his washed out appearance. Everything was beginning to take its toll on him and he hadn't even began treatment yet.

Chemotherapy was an ugly process and he knew exactly what it could do to you. He was tired before it had even started, so good forbid how he was going to feel after today. Sam picked up his phone seeing nothing knew from Connie.

He'd sat up for hours last night worrying over everything he was to face. Connie spent her time desperately tying to reassure him, promising that he'd never be on his own through this. But he couldn't bring himself to tell her he needed her. One thing she shouldn't have to go through was this.

Sam was snapped out of his thoughts by a gentle knocking at the door. He sighed putting his phone down heading towards it. She stood there looking more casual than he'd ever seen her. The tight jeans and baggy jumper doing just as much for her as the dresses did. "Con?" "You really think I was going to make you go alone today?"

He had been holding it together for so long that he had become used to hiding everything from her. But in that moment she saw it all, the built up pain and anxiety behind his eyes. She said nothing, but stepped forwards pulling him into her feeling his head fall to her shoulder. Connie held onto him, not only for his sake but for her own. She couldn't lose him, he had to get through this. They had to get through this.

Standing up she pushed him to an arms length. "Right, come on... Let's get this over with." He nodded grabbing his jacket from behind the door, locking it as they went. The journey to the hospital was spent quietly, neither knowing what to say to the other in that moment. "Grace asked me to say hello to you this morning... She wanted me to bring her to see you but, well it wouldn't be appropriate."

Sam nodded, a faint smile coming and going from his face. It had started to rain lightly as they parked outside the hospital. She turned the engine off and went to move from the car when he reached over holding onto her thigh. "Connie." She spun back looking to him before taking hold of his hand. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere Sam." She nodded reassuring him before he removed himself from the car.

She stepped onto the pavement quickly lacing her fingers through his making him look to their hands. "Everyone will see this you know-" "And?" Despite everything that was happening he couldn't help but look at her for a moment becoming lost. "What?" Connie widened her eyes trying to figure out what he was finding so interesting. "You. You amaze me Connie."

Rolling her eyes she continued to walk stepping closer to him so that she leant into his side. Sam let go of her hand to wrap his arm around her shoulders as they continued to walk towards the hospital. She could hear his heart beating faster with each step they took, his breathing changing too.

Connie momentarily closed her eyes before heading inside and up to the correct department with him. Sam let go of Connie wandering towards the desk before being pointed to a corridor at the far end. He turned to look at Connie who raised her eyebrow. "You really think I'm waiting out here? Dream on Strachan..." She walked past him leaving him smiling before he followed after her.

It was her who stopped when she looked about. She knew this would never be a nice place to be, but the realisation that this was only the start of what would could be an impossibly long journey, with someone she cared so much about hit her. Sam stepped up behind her, his hands on her waist as he kissed the top of her head. "I'm over this way."

She took his hand leading her to another room seeing three others already in there. "Sam Strachan?" "Yeah, is it alright if she stays?" "I'm not going anywhere Sam." He rolled his eyes with a shrug looking to the other woman who laughed. "Of course, come and take a seat." Sam inhaled sharply before letting it go slowly.