Or Is It Real?

CHAPTER 2: Dope

Camila's POV

I was back in Miami, a much-needed break from our energy-sapping tour, and here I was in my room trying to write songs and play with my guitar. It has always been my therapy for my anxiety, and lately, to distract myself from the conflicting feelings that has been plaguing me non-stop for quite some time now.

Under normal circumstances, I would have told my best friend about what's been bugging me, but this time, she is the one person I couldn't talk to. I never could tell anyone else, though, so I transfer my feelings into this notebook.

Turn my emotions into words.

Words into songs.

So I've been working on this potential song for several days now, but I can't seem to finish it. Something's missing. It's funny because that's exactly how I feel like right now. That a part of me is longing for something that I couldn't have.

My thoughts were interrupted by my dad shouting from downstairs.

"Mija! Lauren's here!"

Instantly, my heart sped up just for hearing Lauren's name. She's here? Oh my god, I haven't even taken a bath since yesterday! I started panicking, but before I can do anything, I saw the door opening, and in came my bestfriend, the hottest girl I've seen in my life. Her mesmerizing green eyes stared at me and I can't help but feel weak in the knees. I think anyone who'll look into those eyes will immediately drown in them and fall in love with her.

I remember the first time I saw her and I thought she was literally so beautiful, not to mention her voice was magical, that I forgot whatever little social skills I had acquired during my fifteen years of living, and all I could say to her was "I like your shirt!". The funny thing was, she basically said the same thing, as she casually said she liked my jacket, but coming from her it sounded so smooth, like Joey Tribbiani picking up girls with his famous 'Hey... How you doin'?' one-liner, and I could never forget the way my insides felt like mush when I found her eyes looking at me with genuine warmth, making me more self-conscious than I normally am. She has such a commanding presence that intimidates people, but she also has an air of friendliness and charm that instantly makes anyone swoon. A deadly combination which, as I have witnessed over the years, has left a trail of drooling, lovestruck guys and girls in her wake.

Am I one of them?

Am I in love with my bestfriend?

No, I just appreciate her beauty and kind heart, that's all. Totally platonic admiration.

So why am I writing a song about her, then?

I have no answer for that.

Everything's confusing.

"Camz, why the hell weren't you answering your phone?? I even tweeted you just to get your attention! Don't you love me anymore?" Lauren pouted dramatically as she shoved the pillows in my bed so she can sit beside me.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, booboo!" I gave her a quick hug and couldn't help but smell the refreshing scent of Head & Shoulders which I know is her favorite shampoo.

Sneakily, I leaned closer to her neck just to get that familiar whiff of her skin, which always smells like vanilla and something warm. I love the way she smells, it's so distinct and comforting, and it's one scent I could never forget.

I continued talking once I let go of our hug and faced her. "Couldn't find my phone when I woke up. Sofi probably sneaked into my room this morning to play with it. Then I got distracted by my guitar, and I literally have been writing a song all morning. Or been trying to, at least."