Or Is It Real?

Chapter 41: Back To Me

Camila's PoV

Something has changed. Maybe the earth has tilted differently from its axis and the world is gonna end tomorrow, or that the elections didn't really happen and we still have another four years of Obama, or maybe I woke up in a parallel universe and my favorite girl group hasn't broken up yet -- you know, Destiny's Child. But yeah, I don't know, something has definitely shifted.

Maybe it has something to do with Lauren who's now eyeing me differently every time I sneak a glance at her from the mirrors of our rehearsal studio and catch her looking at me lingeringly. Maybe it's the way she smiles so genuinely now as she used to do before - when Camren was still real - and boy, did it make my heart flutter so much that I kept on forgetting the choreo that we're currently rehearsing.

It's two days before the AMAs, and Sean, our choreographer, was working us to the bones it literally felt like slave labor, I'm not even kidding. I'm not complaining though, because I love what I'm doing, and as long as I am with my girls, nothing is too tiring or too 'fuck-this-I-quit-see-ya-bitches!' for me. I can do this forever, no, we can do this forever - to achieve the highest success and do what I love the most, alongside the four girls who have been with me since the beginning; three of them I consider my sisters, and one, who forever holds my heart, whether she likes it or not. What more could a girl ask for? I wouldn't trade this for the world. They could offer me the whole universe and I wouldn't want it without my girls.

Anyway, Lauren arrived today straight from the airport, literally immediately after attending her cousin's wedding, and we haven't even gotten a chance to say more than five words to each other because Sean was obsessed with perfecting this particular choreography and wanted to start rehearsing the minute all of us arrived. He said it's our biggest performance yet, and we need to slay it as if it's the last awards show we're gonna perform in as a group, and that gave us such a boost and we've been going at it for hours now, my knees are literally bruised from repeatedly doing that breakdown. It'll be worth it though.

So, for now, the most interaction Lauren and I could do was eye contact. And boy was she giving me a lot of those! So, yeah. I feel it in my bones that something has shifted.

"Mila! That's your cue, you missed it again. Don't let me whoop your cute ass, Mija, focus!" Sean clapped his hands which I knew translated into 'get your act together' and I gave him my puppy dog expression, which seemed to have worked. As always. I have mastered the art of playing this cutesy innocent puppy which people always buy, and this talent always comes in handy, which I know will get me far, especially in this industry. Call me Axis Cabello because the world is spinning around my palm.

When we were finally done with rehearsals, all of us could barely walk straight. We were yawning and whining and we were basically a bunch of starving zombies, but still, we were happy. I was happy, because Lauren chose to walk with me as we exited the dance studio.

We were chatting about random stuff, and while it was mostly small talk I had a weird feeling that Lauren wanted to talk about something else. She kept eyeing me like she was having a silent conversation with my soul, you know what I mean? Have you ever felt that way with someone? Your mouths exchange words, but somewhere deep inside you, you know that your hearts and your souls are conversing in another frequency... another wavelength that only the two of you are tuned in.

And that's what made me stop walking and look her straight in the eyes as I gently held her wrist to keep her from stepping out of the building. I also didn't miss the small voice inside my head that told me to lower my grip just a bit more and interlace my fingers with hers. Of course I held back my urges. I know my boundaries now. She has made it clear that we stay friends, nothing more, and I'm slowly accepting that reality... for now.