Or Is It Real?

Chapter 32: Feelings Fade

A/N: Chapters 31 & 32 are both flashbacks. That means, it's three months ago before Lauren met Lucy.
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Less than three months ago

Lauren's PoV

It's already been a week since we had that dinner at Katsuya, but I still couldn't shake off the feeling that Camila is hiding something from me.

I'm sure something's bothering her because she seemed more withdrawn than she has ever been, and despite my attempts, she wouldn't let me in.

I don't wanna be that kind of girlfriend, paranoid and suspicious, but I sense that something's going on because she has been low-key avoiding me since that night she got home drunk. And when I say low-key, I meant high-key - because let's face it, there's nothing low-key about Camila. That girl is as subtle as a poke in the eye, or three fingers in the pussy, or a boner and speedos, or... well, you get the point.

What's weird was, despite her avoiding me, she also has become more clingy, if that's even possible, since she was already possessive even before we were a thing. It's contradictory, I know, but I can't describe it any better than that. She's become more physically attached to me, but, also infinitely emotionally-detached.

Imagine our current situation now: we have been fighting for months, not communicating well, and now she's become more possessive, and yet aloof. It's like she doesn't want me out of her sight, always checking up on me, and like she's shielding me from something, but then I couldn't even connect with her like I used to. What that something that she was trying to shield me from was, I have no idea.

What I do know was that it has put more strain to our already complicated relationship, which I found harder and harder to deal with each day. Guilt, like rust slowly eroding steel, gnawed at my core because what if it was all my fault? What if I ruined us by not making a stand against management's PR bullshit? What could I do to fix it? I'm worried about her. She's always been the overly-anxious one, the insecure girl underneath the confidence she has taught herself to acquire when she's in front of people.

I don't know how to fix us.

I've been feeling more helpless as weeks pass by, and I'm slowly crumbling inside.

"DJ, have you noticed Camila being weird lately?" I asked Dinah, who didn't even look up from her phone screen as she continued taking selfies.

"Mila's always weird, what do you mean?" Now her tongue is out in front of her phone, probably snapchatting, this vain hoe.

"I meant weirder than usual." I rolled my eyes.

"Well, last night I saw her trying to fit her whole fist inside her mouth. Hmm, wait, come to think of it, it's Mila, that's not weird at all." She waved her hand dismissively.

I wanted to whack the phone out of Dinah's hand, because she's so useless right now.

But then again, what's up with Camila trying to fit her fist in her mouth? "Wait, was she able to fit it in?" I asked curiously. If I wasn't gonna get the answers that I wanted, at least I was gonna entertain myself with whatever I could get from Dinah.

"She bet me 30 dollars she could do it."

I chuckled, momentarily forgetting my troubles as I inquired more about this very relevant topic at hand. "What did she need thirty bucks for??"

Dinah shrugged, half her attention was still on her phone. "Said she wanted to buy you a bag of your favorite gummy bear. Kept babbling about how talented her mouth was and that she's gonna make money off of it and the first dollars she earned will be for you. Cheesy bish. Siope never bought me no gummy bears."