Bottomless Love // Harry Styles

Chapter 21

If I never feel you in my arms again

If I never feel your tender kiss again

If I never hear I love you now and then

Will I never make love to you once again

Please understand, if love ends

Then I promise you, I promise you

That, that I shall never breathe again





Harry's POV




She's better off without me

I repeated over and over again in my mind, the words almost engraved inside my heart.

My eyes wandered to the dark liquor, now wavering slightly in the glass which was gripped in my shaking hand.

I brought the glass up to my lips, moistening them as the dark liquid streamed down my throat, giving off a burning feeling. My eyes squeezed shut tightly as the strong aroma momentarily made my head hazy.

They said a few drinks would help me forget her. Now here I am, wasted as fuck, yet the memory of her is as strong as before.

"Come on Harry, speak," Louis begged, taking a swig from his drink.

I closed my eyes, placing my clammy palm against my forehead.

"This was the best situation to go through Harry, you know it," Louis sighed, his finger tracing the rim on the cup.

I shook my head, tears burning my eyes. "I know Lou, I just can't help but think this was the worst, you know?" I whispered.

The shards of glass sprayed up at my feet, the liquor dampening the ends off my denim jeans and wetting the leather boots that my feet were in.

I looked at the broken glass, the shameful puddle of alcohol staring back at me as I peered down at it.

(Credit to elesbells for letting me use her interpret of alcohol in my chapter. she's a fantastic writer and you should check her out. she's a total sweetheart x)

Louis shook his head, waving over the bartender. "Another drink please?"

She nodded, offering me a sympathetic smile before fleeting off.

"It'll be okay Har," Louis insisted, his voice strained.

I gulped down the vile that raised up in my throat, my heart tightening in my constricting chest. "Nothing feels like home, she's a thousand miles away,"

I dropped my head down, resting it on the dark, cherry wood bar table.

Tears leaked from my eyes, wetting my cheeks.

Louis patted my back. "Come on mate, we should go,"

He stood up, the loud shriek from the bar stool moving back made a slight pounding start in my head.

I turned slowly on the stool, the leather squeaking slightly as the material of my black jeans became unstuck from the previous position it had been stuck into for the past two hours.

I was seated in the seat I've been sitting in every night this week, and half of last, the only difference was Louis is here with me.

The same burning liquor clawed my throat, the similar slightly hooded eyes staring into the dark expanse before them.

Louis helped me off the seat, dropping cash onto the table, before pulling me out of the bar.

I stumbled on my own feet, keeping my head down as we walked out into the dark, warm night.

Flashes from cameras, and roaring shouts from fans slapped me across the face.

Louis brought us to the parked car, shoving me into the passenger seat.

My head hit the window, the cool glass contracting with my hot forehead.

My body lunged forward when the car started.

"Louis why am I such a fuck up?" I slurred, tears falling freely down my face. "I'm such a failure,"

I heard Louis take a sharp intake of breath. "Harry you are most certainly not a fuck up,"

I grabbed my hair with my hands, a throaty sob escaping my mouth. "I am, I really am. I'm a screw up, I just lost the girl that meant the most to me, b-because of how selfish I am,"