throughout the whole shoot my mind was completely blank as if i were writing a test. i couldn't even focus during the shoot and had to get yelled at for at least four times. today isn't my day.
"jungkook"
"is it because of Dahyun?"
jimin comes towards my direction while i stared at the wall for no reason at all. perhaps loneliness, gloom, sorrow, frustration and confusion?
i had no idea.
"what do you mean?" i ask,
"you seemed out of focus ever since she walked in." he says,
i let out a heavy sigh, a tear slipping out of my eye randomly. somehow, the tears continues to flow and i had no control of it.
"yah! gwaenchanha?"
"what's wrong?" he panics while calling the rest over,
i felt as if the whole world stopped again. the sound was muted and it was just me depending on my own. the reflection on the mirror was all that i could see and that was me. i looked lost and many gloom filled around me.
"i don't know anymore." i cry out,
faint sobs roaring out of my mouth while my surrounding was a chaos. everything around me was such a blur, not even one person was visible aside myself.
"jungkook!"
"deep breaths"
"everything will be okay."
i had no idea who were speaking, i felt so lost like i didn't even belong in this world.
my heart, it was still beating. but while i think about it, it hasn't been fixed yet. there's still many pieces that i can't find and it's such a hard process.
my back was getting caressed and patted by several hands that i had no idea who it belonged to.
i took deep breaths and let out a heavy sigh, finally controlling myself. at times like these, i would just breakdown. it didn't matter anywhere or who i was with.
i bring my hands to wipe my tears finally regaining the visuals around me and the world suddenly played back to normal. it's like i was living in a film.
where i could just pause and then continue on.
what is life anyways?
