Invasionally Influenced

Small Changes

We arrive at the school gates. It seems different, like it doesn't belong here.

We're buzzed in. Elis parks the car in the bay provided for students.

I get out the car to a warm sun filled air. We walk into the reception and sign in.

"Hello Jessy. How you doing?" Says the receptionist known as Mrs Jordan.

"I'm doing okay. Just got to keep fighting each day." I smile and Mrs Jordan nods like I have permission to leave.

We push through the doors and walk down the hall way.

It's full of lockers and about ten meters apart there is a gap where the toilets are.

It feels different. This is wrong. I don't remember it like this.

I stop in the middle of the hall and just stare in front of me.

"Jessy, is everything alright?" Asks a concerned Jade.

"It's different." I tell her, while looking around. "I don't remember it like this."

"It's okay Jessy. They added some more lockers about 3 weeks ago. You won't remember what it looks like. They moved something's and took something's away. It's fine." Jade rubs my back.

"I'm okay." I say before a tear falls. I start walking again.

I just keep walking straight with Luke, Jade and Elis behind. Then I'm grabbed and turnt' right.

I don't bother asking who it was as I could tell it was Luke from the roughness of his hands.

Luke keeps guiding me, to our class, by grabbing my shoulders and turning me.

When I finally come to a stair case I know where I am. We have English.

The stairs aren't that tall it's two flights by we only need to go up one.

Our English classroom is on the left.

The door is pulled. Our lesson must be going on.

"Should we go in?" I ask in a whisper.

"We have too." Replies Luke.

I knock on the door. An familiar voice booms.

"Come in!" Mr Harris states.

I push the door open. Everybody is looking at me, turning to their friend whispering about me then looking back at me.

"Hi, Mr Harris. Sorry we're late. I had another unplanned hospital visit. Jade, Luke and I think Elis won't leave me side." I look around the classroom. Everyone must know about my cancer. Everyone does know I remember a little while ago.

"That's okay, just sit down. If you need anything just ask, Jessy."

"Thank you Mr Harris." I scramble to find a seat where I am alone. But the only seat I can find that is in between the two worst gossipers.

Amy and Millie.

Mr Harris is telling us to write a poem about a life experience of ours. But I can't tell you much else as Amy and Millie keep questioning me.

"So Jessy what is it like to live with cancer?" Asks Millie.

"Are you gonna write about it?" Asks Amy.

"Shut up! I'm not gonna write about cancer and it doesn't feel like anything. I never knew I had! I didn't feel it!" I shout.

They both put their head down and start writing.

I'm looking at the blank piece of paper. I need to write on the piece of paper. Write about something I have experienced.

I pick up my pencil and start writing. I think of the memory I remembered, the one of my Dad. In the park. Then dead.

I want to write something meaningful. Something special.

The pencil starts moving.

I remember you,
I really do.
Sitting in the park,
Before you went dark.

I remember you,
I really do.
Kissing my mum,
Acting so dumb.

I remember you,
I really do.
For one minute you were there.
The next you were in the air.

I remember you,
I really do.
Before you died,
After you lied.

I remember you,
I really do.
When the devil said lights out,
All I could do was scream and shout.

My pencil drops. I tear falls.

"Right! I'm going to pick one person to read their poem out," please not me "Jessy. Come up on read."

Could he not read my mind?

I stand up and turn around.

Again everyone is staring at me. I clear my throat and take a deep breath.

I close my eyes and start speaking.

"I remember you,
I really do.
Sitting in the park,
Before you went dark.
I remember you,
I really do.
Kissing my mum,
Acting so dumb." A year falls. I can picture the scene again.

"I remember you,
I really do.
For one minute you were there,
The next you were in the air.
I remember you,
I really do.
Before you died,
After you lied." I let another tear fall.
"I remember you,
I really do.
When the devil said lights out," I can't bring myself to finish it.
"All I could," another tear. "Do was," a sob starts. "Scream and shout." I fall to the floor.

Luke comes and hugs me.

"I remember him. I remember his death. I was only five." I tell Luke. "Daddy, come back! I love you!" I just keep crying. I know he can't come back.