Invasionally Influenced

The Point Of Shame

I stare at her in awe.

I frown at her in awe.

I smile at her in awe.

I'm in awe towards her.

She looks older than I remember. But that's normal, because the last time I saw her I was 2 years old. The last time I saw her was when she stood up in court and told the judge that the case has gone cold so they are closing it down.

"Anything? At all?" The women says again.

I think I've been staring at her weirdly this whole time.

"Umm..." I clear my throat and stand taller and straighter. "Yes, actually. Do you mind telling me why I can't have a look at my dad's files from your investigation 15 years ago?" I'm angry at her now. I dig my hands into my hips so she can tell I'm frustrated and about to boil over.

"I'm sorry what's this case?" The women says with a smile as she walks over to the reception desk which is about 6 steps away from her.

"The murder of Kevin Bials." I say as I take a step forward towards her. 

The women immediately looks up at me and sadness and angry is all I can see in her eyes. She's got a secret, and I want to know.

"Miss Bials? Is it?" The women says looking bluntly at me.

"Call me Jessy."

"Well Jessy, you see umm... I'm not allowed to give any details about that case." The women says as she comes out from behind the reception desk and stands in front of me.

"Well why?!" I yell hopelessly. I buzz of the police station stops and I feel everyone looking at me.

"It's policy." The women says as she puts her hand on my shoulder.

I take a step back, my shoulder relaxes.

"Well... Well... Screw policy! My dad died when I was 2 years old! I've only just remembered him and the memory I have is him getting killed!" The women looks to the floor in shame. "And the killer was never caught." My voice lowers and a tear crawls to the front of my eye. 

"I understand it must be difficult for you." The women still looks at the ground in shame. "To come to terms-" I cu her off.

"NO YOU DON'T!" I take 2 steps forward so she can see my feet. "Do you have any idea what it's like to have a part of your life missing? A whole in you?!" I say through the skin in my teeth. "To always be known as the girls who's dad was shot? To not be able to walk down the high street or the school corridors without everyone staring at me?" I want to punch her, I want to kill her.

"No." Her voice strung with despair.

"Do you have any idea what it's like to what to kill you everyday of my life because of what you told that judge on July 26th?" My faces goes express less and I feel like a cold blooded killer looking for their next victim.

"I'm sorry." The women says as her head slowly lifts from the view of the floor to the view of me.

"You better be." I say as I look coldly in her eyes. "I don't know what you did to screw up the investigation but I know who killed my dad, I just need to look at the case files to make sure."

"Let me get them." I feel guilty now, I've made her feel so small. But I had too, I need to know who killed him.

I take a glance around the police station everyone is looking at me. I go to follow the women when a hand tugs me back.

"What the hell Jessy?! Don't you think that was a little be harsh?"

"No Luke I don't." I say coldly and start following the path which the women took.

To the left of the reception desk is a door and a hallway to the right of the door. The women took the hallway so I go down there.

The hallway is about 2 meters wide and to the right it's littered with filing cabinets. There's a door to the left of them fifth cabinet in.

The women is stood by it and gestures to it.

I walk up to her and look in the room.

"This is all the information we have on that case." The women says.

The back of the room is littered from the floor to the ceiling with boxes full of files and papers.

"We had all this information and yet no killer. Maybe you can solve the case, that we could never." The women says as she clicks her fingers and half a dozen police men file out. "It's all yours." She says.

I walk into the room and look around. I here a creek and know it's Luke.

"How could that work out who the killer was?" I ask him.

"I don't know." Luke says in a reply.

I cough a little.

"You ok?"

"It's just the dust." I cough again but for longer this time. I keep coughing. I want oxygen.

"Jessy!" I fall to the floor. I stop coughing but still no oxygen.

"Jessy! HELP!!" Luke yells. I drift in and out of consciousness. My vision goes blurry, I can only see colors.

"Jessy, stay with me!" Luke's voice fades. "Jessy please."

I see nothing, I hear nothing. I'm not breathing. My lights have gone out.