Invasionally Influenced

Tree Of Friendship... Don't Shake It

I wake in hospital.

I stare at the ceiling. The white curls above me create patterns of magic. I've been in this room before. I've stared at these white curls for so long they're a part of my brain now. I could never forget these curls.

The door opens, it's Doctor Hannah Colin.

"Hello Jessy. Didn't expert you back so soon." She sits on the chair to my left.

"Me neither really." I chuckle but it turns into a cough.

"Take it easy Jessy. You've suffered too much, now is your time for no pain."

"What do you mean?" I ask as I sit up in my bed.

"Jessy, you brain tumor and lung cancer have got sufficiently worse. Normal functions like walking with be harder and soon impossible because of the brain tumor. And breathing is harder and soon not possible. I'm sorry Jessy." Doctor Hannah places her hand on my arm.

"I know that when I was diagnosed it wasn't advisable for chemotherapy but please can I have it now." I look in her eyes for hope.

"It's not advisable still but if you want it then we can give it to you." I see a glance of hope on her eyes. But slowly that diminishes into ashes of dust from long ago.

•••••••••••••••••••••

Since being back at the hospital I have found myself to be quite a pain-in-the-backside.

It's an excellent talent I've obtained!

Unfortunately, since being back at hospital my cancer has gone from worse to catastrophic in a few days. My breathing has become increasingly difficult and I feel all hope of life disappearing into thin air.

The chemo has done little to no use if it's done anything it's made my cancer worse.

And my body is slowly shutting down.

A sigh comes from the right side of me and I remember that my friends are still in the room.

"So..." It's Jade... Again.

"Okay! Stop being weird around me guys! Seriously it's getting frustrating!" I say as I jolt towards them all.

"Well how else are we suppose to act? You've lied to us and now you expect us to be normal functioning people around our friend who is dying." Luke says. A sharp stab of pain comes from the last few words. Friend who is dying.

I haven't said I'm dying because if you say it out loud it becomes realistic. And I don't want that.

"I want you to try." A simple but to the point sentence of mine.

To be honest, I don't know if my friends try anymore. I feeling like they gave up long before I was diagnosed. They been distanced from me for a long time.

And I'm starting to feel like they would rather my die now then live a second later.

My diagnoses shook a tree which nobody should shake. The friendship tree.

Slowly the coconuts fell of the tree and onto the floor.

Coconuts being things we don't talk about. Them falling off meaning us talking about it.

We've never questioned each other but recently all could say were a bunch of questions aimed at a person who we had something against.

But that wasn't us. We were never like that. But now we are.

I'm not trying to be a wise man (well women) but it's true.

"For an abundance of wisdom brings an abundance of frustration, so that whoever increases knowledge increases pain." I randomly say. Guilty. I shouldn't think to myself I end up saying what I'm thinking. It's a very bad habit of mine.

"Where the hell did that come from?!" Elis questions.

See questioning the friendship tree is slowly dying all the coconuts are falling.

"Umm..." I struggle to find an explanation. "My mum..." Lie. "She read it from a book..." Lie. "And told me it in a story..." Lie. "When I was little..." Lie. "It was many favorite thing she ever said.." BIG FAT LIE!

Jessy you're a stupid lair no wonder why your friends want you dead!

"You're so bad at lying." Luke, the wise man, speaks again.

"Thanks." I say as I roll my eyes at him.
"She also said 'death and life are in the power of the tongue' and it's only now I see the meaning. In my case I have no chose but to use my tongue for a powerful death. But if I had a chose I would have used for a powerful life." TRUE.

"Now I believe you!" Luke smirks at me.

I'm going to hurt this poor soul, this gorgeous man. How dare I!

My head hurts.

My vision is blurry.

Voices are fading.

Heart monitor is going crazy.

My lights have gone out... Again.