A Beautiful Disaster

Chapter 10

I went to the store to get some groceries. You know, the usual "heartbreak" things.

I grabbed a bottle of wine and a bottle of bourbon. The last time I've tried that, it was because of Rae. I needed something strong, so bourbon was what I needed.

I walked passed the crisps and grabbed 2 bags of doritos.

As I walked to the next aisle, I took out my phone to see what else I needed.

"Ice cream", I said to myself. And with that, I bumped into someone. I dropped my grocies and practically fell on to floor.

"I'm so sorry", I said getting up. "It's okay", she said with a familiar british tone in her voice. I slowly looked up, and saw her. Rae. She was here, right in front of me.

"Rae..", I said as a small smile grew on my face. "Hi", she simply said.
My smile quickly faded.

I bent over the grab my groceries, as she did the same. "Let me help you", she said. She grabbed the bottles of wine and bourbon and checked if there were any cracks.

"I thought you weren't into bourbon", she said. "I'm not. But there isn't really anything stronger here." I took the bottles from her and put them back in my basket.

The longer I saw her, the harder it got.

"I uh, I have to go", I said. She nodded. "Me too", she said and walked passed me. I turned around to look at her one more time. I let out a deep sigh as I continued walking.

I grabbed 3 jars of ice cream and went to the register.

-

I took a bite of my cookie dough ice cream and a sip of red wine.

All I could think about was the few minutes I had seen Rae. They were the highlight of my day. Sad isn't it?
I missed her, a lot.

I took another big sip of my wine, leaving an empty glass. I grabbed the bottle to pour myself another glass, but noticed it was empty.

I got up and walked into the kitchen to grab the bottle of bourbon.

"It's not that bad. You can do this", I said opening to bottle. I took a big sip. "See? Not bad", I said.

I went back to the couch and sat down. I flicked through some channels and stopped when I saw myself.

"Demi Lovato hasn't been doing well since the breakup. She has been spotted in a liquor store multiple times. Do you think Rae ever take her back? We don't think so."

Tears started to form in my eyes.

"No of course she's not taking me back!", I yelled. I threw the half empty bottle of bourbon against the wall and broke down in tears.

"Why the fuck did you have to do this Demi! You had it all. You just don't deserve anything good in your life!", I yelled again.

I burried my face in my hands as the tears kept coming.

"I miss you..", I said softly. "I regret it so much, you have no idea.."

I wiped away my tears and took a deep breath. I got up to clean up the pieces of glass.

As I collected most of the pieces, one slipped away, making a cut in my hand as I tried to hold on to it. "Great", I said. I walked into the kitchen and turned on the water, letting it run down my hand.

After a little while I turned off the water and put on a band aid. I searched for another bottle of alcohol, but I was all out.

I grabbed my keys and coat and opened the front door.

"No, you can't destroy yourself like that", I said to myself.

I closed the door again, hung up my coat and placed my keys on the cabinet.

I let myself fall on the couch and emptied my mind as I shut my eyes, waiting for me to fall asleep.