RoomMates

Day 5 of Vacation (part six)

A/N: BLACKBEAR IDFC IS SO FUCKING AWESOME. Plus since I have a males singing voice range I can go that low and not sound like an angsty emo teenager for once (not that there's anything wrong with that I just hate being myself yet love it at the same time). But before you get reading I broke my fucking charger and my phone died. LIK Y U NU WURK FER MEH. I have to get a new one but I'm too scared to ask my mom. EYHNGH
Enjoi it lovebugs

Cody's Pov
Ryan was heartbroken.
Words passed his ears, yet he wasn't listening. All he could see were lips moving, and as he realized Matt was staring at him. He knew it was pretty obvious.
All he could do was think. And god dammit, he didn't want to do anything anymore. Sadly, whenever he wasn't doing anything and especially when he's in darkness like this, all of his thoughts spill out of his inner depressing jail.
God dammit. You're worrying him. Stop being sad. It's time to be happy. You're on vacation, with your best friends. WHY THE FUCK ARENT YOU HAPPY.
Right. Because you're a miserable, ungrateful son of a bitch. Unable to appreciate any of the good you have.
You don't even deserve this- "Ryan!".
His thoughts were cut of by the sound of his best friends voice. His concerned shout reaching the boy as everyone realized he sat there on the couch with a tear falling down his cheek.
     You stupid fuck you can't even hold in your own emotions. Nice job jackass. you made your friends worry.
"O-oh. Um...I gotta go. Sorry guys". You made thinks awkward you fuckwad. You could barely do anything to make this situation better.
     This is why you're always going to be that faggot ass cunt that no ones going to love. I mean, not even you love yourself.
      And for once in his life, he was starting to believe it. Even after all those years where Matt told him otherwise or Matt made those awful thoughts go away. He is now. Finally, believing he is a terrible person. And that only makes him worse.

Matt's Pov:
What's wrong with him. I struggle to not get up and run after him.
Sending my stomach into an anxiety fit.
Spinning and swirling, churning my insides as I think of all the 'what if's' possible.
What if he was starting to have a panic attack and needed some time alone?. What if he was just on his man period and this is being blown out of proportion.
He usually would talk to me if something's up. Was that supposed to be his way of saying "follow me I need to talk to someone?". I'm getting mixed fucking signals.
Why is he so fucking complicated and hard to read.
If I anything I should be able to decode at least his facial expression, I mean. Im his fucking best friend. [okay I'm trying to be serious but I burst out laughing. I typed it so bad that it spelled Girlfriend instead of best friend. Reread IT and I'm just like IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW].
The other four facepalm and shake their heads in utter disappointment.
Jack yelling "Well?!. WHAT THE FOOK'RE YA WAITING FOR MATT WATTSON" giving me the wake up call I've been needing. I nodded, letting them speak, "yeah go!" Cry shouts, probably too entranced by Pewds to realize what's going on.
     While Mark finishes his sentence for him "I mean, HE JUST RAN OUT OF THE ROOM CRYING WHILE YOU'RE HIS BEST FUCKIGN FRIEND CHILLIN IN THIS ROOM ".
     "Shit. you're right...". I scramble to my feet, leaving my phone in the room as I walked out the door with a picture of his teary-eyes in mind, slowly eating me away.
      My heart beating a mile a minute, out of my chest as I run down the corridor.
Quickly making it to Ry's door. I start to hesitate but quickly make a decision, putting my head up against it to hear quiet sniffling, and utter silence.
So I wait no longer, loudly knocking on the door, I silenced any noise coming from within the room.
      "Hey Ry...open up...please...It's Matt...". No answer. "C'mon man, you know I only want to help you. If you won't let me in I'll just stay outside the door" "...Matt....".
      "you know I won't pressure you into telling me why you're like this. But I'm not going to walk away as if I didn't just see my best friend since middle school run out crying". And with that the door swung open to reveal the diamond in the rough. 
       "Matt...". He choked out my name, nearly knocking me over as he throws his arms around me and buries his face in the crook of my neck.
      Crying softly, I rub his back, saying "Shhhhh...I know Ryan, I know...".

      So I then told him to lay down on the couch as he let all of it out. 
     I sat on the couch next to him, rubbing his back as he snuggled up next to me.
      All the pain, anger, frustration and anxiety held in for so long. And he finally breaks down.
     He's broken, deep down inside. But to me, that's just one thing that doesn't even compare to the beautiful, kind man Ryan Magee is. 
     And although he's a fuckup, he's my fuckup, and if anything we'll be fucked up together.
     He doesnt deserve any of the pain or sadness he's been given.
     Never did, never will, and for as long as I can I am going to be his shoulder to cry on, whenever and wherever.
     So as I wiped his tears and whispered lovingly into his ear he lulled to sleep.
     Taking the time to lay him down properly and cover him. I kiss him on the forehead before leaving to get my phone and get us food. 'He is such a fucking cuddly teddy bear'.