[A.n: This is a longer chapter. I just didn't see the point in making it shorter with all the content I wanted in it.]
Nishinoya Yuu X Depressed! Male! Reader (Angst Fluff)
Requested by PanicMyFallinFandoms
Art by chellokoru on Tumblr
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[Warning!! This chapter is going to be dark, it's going to be depressing, a tear might be shed, please be aware of this and if you can't handle it I don't want to put you through this so please don't read. Trigger Warning. For those of you who can, I hope it's okay.]
(Male! Reader's P.O.V)
I see nothing but blackness. The abyss that consumes me will never waiver; I am trapped and chained by my own mind which thinks it knows the best course of action in how to deal with this desolate pain: a smile.
My parents would see me off to school if I had any that cared.
"Please, Dad!" I called "Don't!!" I covered my face
"You're a piece of shit! I wish you were never born!" He lifted his fist as high as he could, his knuckles made from iron and steel (or so it felt). His fist knocked my arms out of the way, his other hand grabbed me by the collar of my shirt and threw me against the opposing wall. He laughed at me as I let out a cry, "You are not loved." He snarled out, he grabbed onto my leg, pushing the beer bottle glass, that my mother lovingly stabbed into me, further in.
I screamed in pain,"Dad, stop it! I'm your son!"
"I know what you are!" He stopped and grabbed me by the throat. "I wish with all my heart that you were stillborn like your older siblings! She tried to drink you to death but you just had to come out! I hope you know that you're not loved here and no one will ever love you!" Dad placed both hands on my throat and began to squeeze as hard as he could. "Just die already, you little shit. Get off the planet!" I was so scared I pissed myself, he laughed at me "I want you dead."
My father, an abusive man who saw nothing in me but mistake after mistake. He loved to tell me just how he felt with the crisp pain of his fists. My mother, a raging alcoholic, who loved to break her glass beer bottles on my legs or arms as she cursed me out and swore I was unplanned and unwanted.
I was 7 when I ran away. I ran all the way to the police station, to someone who might care. They had suspicions that this was happening but no proof until I showed up. They saved me after just barely surviving those years. I was put in home after home, not one of my family members having time for a needy child in their lives. Not that anyone wanted an over cautious, PTSD filled, problem child in the first place.
The year I turned 10 a perfect couple adopted me. They had problems conceiving so in order to fulfill their desire of having a child they adopted. But I later found out that they were anything but perfect... the father liked to come in my room at night, his voice telling me everything was going to be alright but his actions painful and confusing. A whole year went by without me understanding why he came to see me, why he asked me to do those things, why I had to not tell the mother. Then she walked in on us one night. Appalled and scared she kicked me out of the house telling me I was done seducing her man with my perverted body. I walked the streets for months, lived on them for that time too. I saw other children laugh and giggle as they played with each other, while I was just the gutter child.
I soon found myself in a different child protective home, I am unsure of when I got there or how, but it was a good home.
On my 13th birthday (3 years ago) a single woman adopted me. Her husband had passed away overseas a few years back and she had a miscarriage around the same time. Back then I shut myself completely off to her, afraid of what she might be capable of. For all, I knew she had planned her husband's death. My second year of Junior high I opened up to her. I confided in her, and we grew a bond. She actually treasured me.
