Once Again [EDITING]

13. Mind Games

Trisha's POV

I wanted to express my feelings, my emotions. The feelings were new for me and they were raw which were causing me pain. But it was good pain. I wanted that pain.

I was happy. There was all ok, I was fine with my busy schedule and focused life. Until he came. With him in my life, no matter whether he was my just friend or what, but I learned to enjoy my life. I had complex for my height, that I am short but because of him, I felt being cute, his Shortcake. I learned to love myself rather than pity myself. I started smiling without any reasons. Whenever I thought about him, I started blushing.

That day, on my eighteenth birthday, all were making me feel special, my parents, my relatives, my besties.. but I was thinking only about the evening.. we all were going to meet. And Ved was going to be there. I was feeling weird but I was liking that. My besties were with me in my home till five o'clock. I was waiting patiently. And the bell rang at six sharp. I opened the door and went outside. I was wearing a black skirt with white floral print on it and paired with a black T-back, a black shrug over it.
All were there, Shriya, Lara, Anand, Sushant and most importantly Ved. All wished me. Ved gave me a handshake and wished. My stomach was full with the butterflies. His hand was warm and I felt safe.

This was not only attraction, right? It was more than that.

That day when I have sat behind him on his bike while going for the famous Diwali festival occasion of lighting the city with the lanterns, I was feeling so special! He was driving so fast that if I didn't have gripped the bike, I am sure I would probably have bumped at him.

Why did I got nervous with his touch? Why did I blushed? Why am I so eager only for seeing his one snippet? To be truthful, we couldn't speak much. Then why? Why I starts blushing when our society friends tease us? Why I starts blushing when I see his likes on my pictures, when I starts thinking about him? In society, I have to pretend like he doesn't affect me but the reality is he does. Why? This pleasure I got with these small things, it is so big. My friends' shipping our names.. the teasing.. his warm touch, no matter if it is only friendly touch.. I don't know what he thinks for me but I don't have any expectations. I wanted to tell him what I feel. Should I tell him? Or should wait for his feelings? I really wanna tell him. And I am going to. Cause if I don't tell him, after some years, I will feel that maybe I should have told him then the situation would be different. Yes, I am gonna tell him. But how? Should I tell him directly, face to face? Should I call him to meet me and then tell or should just write a letter?

I wanted to tell him that ' I don't know what will be your reaction after I tell you this. I don't know if I have missed my bus or not but I wanna tell you that genuinely in love with you. I know that this is very unexpected for you. I don't know whether you have saw me like that anytime, so I can completely understand your situation. But I wanted to clear this all. How long I was going to keep my feelings suppressed? For first, I thought that it is just an attraction but then I realised that it's not just an attraction but it is a genuine true feeling about you. And that's a fact. Come on, these are my feelings, my emotions. Whether they are right or wrong but are true. I don't know what will be your answer. But even if your answer would be negative, it's ok.. I can handle myself. I will be ok with your just Friendship. But please, even if your answer would be a no, just don't break the friendship. I can live with your rejection but if you break our friendship, I will break down. I will not be able to handle the situation. Then I will never be able to confess my emotions to anyone. So please... I just want to be clear. At least, I will be satisfied that I confessed. I will be satisfied that I tried, I spoke.. So the fact is I really really love you without expectations...'

Should I tell him all this? Can I confess this? To him? I becomes tongue-tied in front of him.. I really don't have any expectations with him.. and I should Not because if the expectations don't get fulfilled, then your heart will break...

I know I should confess it but I am in I-can-understand-but-I-am-not-getting-it situation. What should I do?

I was sitting in the park, on that bench, looking at the sunset.

I was there directly after my dance practice. The day was exhausted. I had college from morning to afternoon, then I directly went for my dance practice. My mind was so clouded with my thoughts that I needed some relaxation. I thought dance will help me but nothing. So I decided to go directly to the park. I texted mom that I will be late and that they should eat. And not to worry about me, I am fine. Thank God, she didn't ask me any questions.

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Closing my eyes, I leaned back and put my headphones, started playing my playlist.

Can't keep my hands to myself
No matter how hard I'm trying to
I want you all to myself
Your metaphorical gin and juice

So come on, give me a taste
Of what it's like to be next to you
Won't let one drop go to waste
Your metaphorical gin and juice

I quickly changed the song.

It's the boy you never told ' I like you '
It's the girl you get away
It's the one you saw that day on the train
But you freaked out and walked away

Hit the lights
Let the music move you
Lose yourself tonight
Come alive ...

I changed the song. Yes, hymn for the weekend. It's perfect.

Drink from me, drink from me
Then we'll shoot across the sky
Symphony
Then we'll shoot across the sky
We're on a...
Drink from me, drink from me
Then we'll shoot across the sky
Symphony
(So high, so high)
Then we'll shoot across the sky...

Hi guys, this is the new chapter. This is one of my favourite chapters. I love the part of her confession. I know you will also love it. Tell me how it is. Please vote and comment. Love you all ;-) TheFlyingIdeas