Soft Whispers (Princeton love story)

Chapter Thirteen

::Rayan's P.O.V::

"Your sister's dating a freak, dude" Michael stated, I furrowed my eyebrows "excuse me?" "She's dating Jacob" I rolled my eyes. "Michael, don't fuck with me" I said seriously, "I'm dead ass serious! He had his arm around her this morning, then before the bell rang they kissed" "foreal?" I asked.

He nodded "yeah foreal!" He began to laugh, "how's it feel?" "How does what feel?" "Having a sister who's dating the freak of the school" I frowned and pushed him out of my way. "Damn, no need to be violent!" He yelled, a smile was plastered on his face. "Whatever, I'll see you at practice" I said bluntly, "you mad?" I ignored his question and walked away. 

>>*<<

I slammed my locker shut, "the fuck you slamming shit for?" Chresanto asked. I ignored him and set my football pads on the bench, "uh, hello?" I shook my head slightly. "Lopez" I looked at him, "what the hell do you want August?" I questioned.

"I want to know what the fuck is wrong with you" he answered simply, I looked away "you don't care" "yeah, you're right I don't, I'm just curious". I sighed, "my sister's dating Jacob" I said lightly, I sat on the bench and stared at the lockers. There was silence.

"You can laugh, I know you want to" I stated, there was a chuckle. "That's it?" I asked as I took a quick glance at him, "that's all you're going to do?" "Well shit, it sounds like you want me to laugh at you" he stated. I shrugged, "I just thought you would", "why do you care so much?" He asked.

I gave him a confused expression, "why do you care that she's dating Jacob?" I shrugged "I don't know, it's just weird". "Honestly, I'd be mad too, considering Jacob's condition" "condition?" I asked. "Yeah, you don't know what I'm talking about, do you?" I shook my head in response.

"He talks to himself, well..... Technically not himself, he hears voices" he explained. I looked at him, "what the hell are you talking about Chresanto?" "I'm serious, I was in the office the other day and overheard him talking with Ms. Parks about how he's still hearing the voices and that they've gotten louder" he shrugged and added "I don't know man, he's really strange, why did you think everyone calls him a freak?" I groaned, "I don't know" "well, yeah, now come on; put your pads on so we get out on the field".

>>*<<

I walked out of the school and noticed Jacob was sitting under a tree, reading a book. I glared at him and remembered what Chresanto had said to me earlier. I walked over to Jacob and stood in front of him, I dropped my bag onto the ground. "When the hell were going to tell me?" I asked, anger in my voice. He closed his book and looked up at me but said nothing.

"How long have been dating my sister?" I asked loudly, "about a week now" he answered lightly. I watched him as he stood to his feet, "question, how was I suppose to tell you? You haven't talked to me ever since Bria and I kissed" he stated. I narrowed my eyes at him, he shook his head a little "are you still mad about that?" I didn't answer him.

I looked down and bit my lip lightly before speaking; "stay away from my sister, alright?" "What?" He asked, I looked up at him "stay away from my sister, alright?" I repeated. "Why? What did I do?" He questioned, "just stay away from her, I don't think I really want you hanging with her anymore".

"Rayan, I just.... Don't... Understand why I.... Can't hang with her anymo-" "Cause you're a freak, Jacob" I cut him off. He looked at me, he looked at me in a way that showed just how hurt he really was. "You're a freak, everyone knows it. It's about time you start to get that through your head. Those voices you hear, they aren't real" I stated.

"How.... Did you... How did you find out about that?" He asked. I scoffed, "oh please, how the hell could I not? Everyone's been talking about it, everyone's been gossiping about how you 'talk to yourself'" "I don't talk to myself" "oh yeah, I forgot, you talk to the imaginary voices in your head" "they aren't imaginary". I rolled my eyes, "look, I don't care if they're real or not okay? You're a freak, so stay away from my sister, and.... Stay away from me too".

>>*<<

::Jacob's P.O.V::

I sat alone in my room, Rayan's words playing over and over and over in my mind. I fought back the tears as I sat there. 

He's just mad

I rolled my eyes and looked up at the ceiling, hoping it would help keep my tears from falling. "No, he's right, I am a freak" I murmured. 

You are not!

"I shouldn't be around Bria, I'm too much of a freak. I'd probably end up hurting her" I said as I laid back, my head came in contact with my pillow and I let out a deep sigh.

Jacob, stop, you're not a freak

I frowned, "y'all are the reason why I'm being called a freak in the first place".

Hold on, no one said that you had to talk to us, that was your own decision; not ours.

"Y'all just would've kept on talking! Like you always do when I ignore y'all" I replied.

Whatever, Jacob

I sat up and looked around, I bit my lip lightly as I stood to my feet. I walked to my bathroom and grabbed the brand new razor, I picked up the extra razor head and walked back to my bed. 

Do it, we don't care, go ahead and cut yourself

"I just want real friends" I said lightly

And this will get you real friends?

"No, but..."

'but' nothing

I sighed and shook my head, "y'all don't understand". I concentrated on taking the razor head apart. 

Do you even know how to take that thing apart?

"Apparently, because I just did; and in less then five minutes" I said as I held the razor blade between my fingers. 

You're making a mistake, but you don't care do you? All you care about his making real friends, well this has nothing to do with making real friends! But it's whatever, go and cut yourself, go and relapse. You've been clean for about three or four months now, go and pour it all down the drain. We don't care.

My tears slipped from my eyes and rolled down my cheeks. I sniffed and wiped them away, "I just want real friends" I repeated. I closed my eyes and placed the blade to my wrist. I sucked in air and even though my eyes were closed, the tears still managed to fall. 

Just do it

I bit my lip "I can't"

Oh, so now you can't? Just a few seconds ago you wanted to, what changed?

"I just can't do it"

Well you can't, but we can

My hand abruptly swiped the blade across my skin, I opened my eyes and flinched in pain. I saw the deep gash engraved in my wrist, the blood came oozing out within seconds. I closed my eyes, four months practically down the drain. Four months.
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Sorry for any mistakes. I didn't proof read.
Love,
Me