Soft Whispers (Princeton love story)

It's Me (bonus chapter)

::Bria's P.O.V::

I stood in front of the casket and stared at the still body of my boyfriend. "Jacob" I managed to choke out, "Jacob, wake up". I stepped closer to him and saw the engraving of the rope. A soft sob escaped my throat as I gently touched his cheek, "I'm sorry" I apologized, "I'm so sorry".

I knelt down and took a deep breath, my emotions were all over the place right now. "I love you" I whispered, "I still love you" I sniffed and took a step back. "I'm sorry the voices won, I really am" I added, "you were so much stronger than them, but sometimes you just have to give up. You have to fight, but you can't suffer the fight". 

I took another deep breath, "I never got.... To tell you this, but Jacob you were the best thing that's ever happened to me. I'm glad I met you in the library that day, and I'm glad that I stuck around to get to know you better" I looked down at the ring that he had given me.

"This is so beautiful, everytime I wear it and look at it, I'll always think of you" I sniffed and wiped some of my tears away, "I could've saved you, I-I saw all the signs. I-it's all my fault that you're gone" I admitted.

"The distance, the.... The fake smiles, the bags under your eyes, you cleaned your room a-and you made sure to tell me that you loved me.... And just.... You said goodbye instead of goodnight" I said before completely breaking down. My body shook as I looked at him, "I shouldn't have let you go" I cried loudly. 

I suddenly felt someone place their hand on my shoulder, I looked up and saw Rayan watching me. "It's not your fault" he stated, I nodded a little and said "yes, it is, Ray... I-I shouldn't have let him go, b-but I did and it's all my fault that he's not here anymore" I confessed. 

I let him slowly pull me away from Jacob, we walked away and sat down at a pew. I sniffed and looked behind me and saw the guidance counselor, Ms. Parks, standing there. There were tears in her eyes, "Ms. Parks" I said her name lightly, she looked at me. She shook her head a little, "I was the guidance counselor who couldn't help him, I failed at my job. He's dead, he came to me for help, and I couldn't give him any" she confessed, "he needed my help". 

I sniffed and said "it's okay", she shook her head again and said "no, i-it's not", I watched her as she walked away. "I should've picked up the phone" Ray suddenly mumbled, I looked at him and saw he was looking at Jacob's casket. "I should've picked up the phone" he repeated, "but I didn't, and now he's gone. I'll never get to talk to him again, all I have of him now is the voicemail that he left me before he did what he did".

Rayan blankly stared off and I cuddled up next to him, "it's going to be okay" I said lightly. He wrapped an arm around me and said "I hope so". I suddenly saw this little boy run down the aisle, he ran up to the casket and tried to look in it, but he was too short. I watched as he pulled over a chair and stood on top of it, "hi, Jacob" he said quietly.

I sat up a little, "you know, I... I didn't mean it when I said that I hope your straw doesn't go into your juice box, I was.... I was just angry" he confessed. He looked down and messed with his hands, "I didn't know you for very long, and I wish I had, Daddy came back".

I covered my mouth with my hand as I listened carefully, "he came back because of you, he's here too, he told me what happened to you.... I'm sorry". Suddenly a tall man came walking up the aisle with a little girl in his arms, he stood next to the little boy.

"Hey son" he said lowly as he stared down at Jacob, my eyes grew wide as I stared at the man that was Jacob's father. "I'm sorry I left you and you're mother behind, I know it's too late for you to hear it... But... I just wanted to tell you", he sighed "you'll always be my little boy". 

With that, he turned away and began to walk off, we caught each other's gaze for a minute before I looked away. The little boy put the chair back before running after the man. 

"Oh, miel" I looked back up again and saw Jacob's mother standing there. She was holding back her tears as she gently touched his forehead, "miel, why?" She wiped at here eyes and shook her head a little. "You were so much stronger" she stated, "I miss you, miel" she added. 

She let her tears fall as she let a sob escape the back of her throat. "I love you so much, Jacob" she cried, "I'm going to miss you and I'm sorry that you had to fight your battle all alone. We tried, we all tried to help you, but it was just something that you had to fight on your own. It's okay to lose sometimes, honey, it just shows that you were too strong for too long". She stroked his hair and said "I love you with all my heart, Jacob". 

>>*<<

I stood in front of the bathroom mirror as I stared at myself. I was different without Jacob in my life. I wasn't like before, it seemed like I was depressed. I missed him and there was no way he was coming back. 

"It's all my fault" I cried, "oh, God, it's all my fault". I hunched over and silently wept, "I'm so sorry". 

Hello.

I slowly looked up, "what?" I asked lightly. 

Hello.

"W-who's that? W-what's happening?" I asked lightly.

It's me.

"Who's me?" I questioned. 

Jacob. 

_____________________________________________________________________________________

I thought I'd do a bonus chapter for y'all. 

Do you think Bria's actually hearing Jacob, or do you think she's just filling the empty space in her heart and is becoming kind of crazy? Tell me what you think.

Love,

Me