♡ imagines • d.t. ♡

♡ journal [e] ♡

warning: sad

ethan and his mom had offered to help your parents clean out your room, after what happened, your parents couldn't bare to even glance at your bedroom door. the pain was too much that they had to buy a new house, which force your sibling(s) to leave the life they new and start over and make a new one.

ethan and his mom strode up the sidewalk, ethans heart burning at the sight of your bedroom window. there were boxes on the porch, full of dishes and necessities.

ethan balled up his fist, knocking on the big brown oak door 3 times. not even 10 seconds later, your mom pulled open the door, her eyes puffy and red, her face looked oily, like she had been crying.

she welcomed ethan and his mother in, ethan ran up stairs to your room, while his mom stayed back to talk to yours.

he pushed open your bedroom door hesitantly, seeing boxes and bags stacked upon your freshly made bed.

he walked over to your bed, reaching into a box and pulling out a smaller one, he knew he shouldn't look through your stuff, but curiosity killed the cat.

he cracked the smaller box open, inside was a small leather journal with his name written across the middle.

he swallowed the lump in his throat and blinked multiple times, trying to not let any tears escape his beautiful brown orbs.

he peeled the journal open, and he felt his heart break, if it could even break anymore, at the sight of a picture of you two. you were on his shoulders, his hands gripping your thighs, and you had your hands covering his eyes. a smile lit up both of your faces, and he let a tear slip out of his eyes as he realized the harsh reality that you, his best friend, and his first love was gone.

of course you didn't know what he felt for you, after multiple girlfriends, you figured he didn't feel for you the way you felt for him. but he only did it because it hurt him so much to be with you all the time and not call you his.

ethan let out a shaky breathe as he picked up the picture, played with it in his fingers and carefully stuffed it into his back pocket.

"ethan! grab the boxes on y/n bed and bring them down here please!" his mom yelled up the stairs.

"ok!" he replied before sneaking the journal up his shirt, his carefully stuffed it in the waistband of his jeans, and walked down the stairs with the boxes in his hands, careful not to drop them.

---

that night after ethan and his mom got home, he ran up to his room and immediately pulled out the journal, he opened it up and began to read the first page.

ethan got a new girlfriend today, her name is Sadie, she's pretty, prettier than I'll ever be, she's nice too, and I bet she's happy, she has to be, i mean she has ethan, who wouldn't be happy if they had him. he's so precious, he's kind, he's funny, he'll make you feel so special. i just wish i could make him feel the way Sadie does. but he'll never like me. a broken girl with too many problems, he probably thinks im crazy. i just pray that Sadie doesn't hurt him. he doesn't deserve that.

ethan let out a choked sob, his heart hurt at the thought of him hurting you like that.

he slammed the journal shut and falling back onto his bed. he hated himself for not being there for you. you were there for him when Sadie and him broke up. he thought he loved her, but she broke his heart, and it broke yours to see him like that.

ethan let out a groan of frustration and hit his wall with a closed fist, creating a hole he knew his mom would lecture him for.

he loved you so much, but he was too late to show it and he hated himself for that, knowing he could've saved you.

but you and him knew that he couldn't do that. no one could. you were just too unhappy.

wowwowowowwowoowow

ok

alyssa🍩🍩