Wonderland // McFly

You're Pushing Me Out When I Wanted In

December 23, 2004

And just like that, the beginning of the Room on the Third Floor, or as the boys started calling it, The ROTTF tour, was off for holiday break.

The boys were extremely excited, probably because they could smoke without Fletch down their backs.

However, there was one boy who was particularly excited for Christmas.

Tom.

I don't know what is wrong with him, but I've never seen a human so excited for anything ever.

It was all great that the boys were happy, but I hated Christmas. To me, it's just another day. Nothing can be a celebration if you have no one to celebrate it with.

Fletch had me call all the boys in for one more practice before they get off for break, and it also happened to be Harry's 19th birthday.

When I got to the studio, Tom was already there, per usual, tuning his guitar.

"Hey Lilly." Tom smiles.

"Hey." I say putting my things down.

"I can't hold it in anymore!" He yells, quickly taking his guitar off him and running to me.

"Wha-"

"Please, please, please don't make us play today, please Lilly, if you have decent bone in your body, please-"

"Woah, woah, woah." I say. This isn't like Tom. I would expect this kind of thing from Danny or Harry, not Tom. "Tom, what are you talking about?" I ask.

"I'm too excited for Christmas, Lilly. Aren't you excited?" He whines. I turn from him, placing Harry's birthday gift on the table.

"Yeah." I lie. He looks at me.

"You don't sound like you-"

"What are you doing for Christmas, Tom?" I change the subject.

"Well, tomorrow the lads and I are going to see our families so that we can spend Christmas day together in the band house." He smiles. "What about you?"

"Just going home to Bolton." I lie.

"Cool!" He cries. "When are you leaving?"

"Tonight. After rehearsal." I say. Rehearsal ends at nine...are there trains back to Bolton at nine? Not that it matters, I'm not actually going back to Bolton. Just then, Harry walks in.

"Harry! Happy birthday!" I say, running over to give him his gift, which is wrapped in a bag.

"Thanks Lilly!" Harry says, hugging me, before getting ready for rehearsal. "What are you doing over bre-" Just then, Dougie walks in, saving me.

"Dougie!" I smile, running over to him, so that no one brings up the Christmas subject again. "How are you?" I ask giving him a hug. When I pull away, he looks at me awkwardly.

"Lilly, are you feeling okay?" Harry asks. "You seem extra chipper."

"I am!" I say.

"You didn't seem so happy-" Tom begins.

"It's Harry's birthday, we're going on break!" I smile, walking over to Harry and hugging him again.

"Yeah. And now that I'm 19 I'm pretty close behind you so maybe we could-"

"Save it, Judd." I say, covering his mouth.

"Well, since Danny isn't here yet, maybe we could talk about Christmas until he gets here." Tom suggests. All the boys put down what they're doing and crowd around me.