Wonderland // McFly

If I Never Found You

December 29, 2005

"Shhh Dougie!" I laughed as I crept in Dougie's window. As soon as I got in he started to kiss me. "Dougie." I whispered. "Gosh give me a breath."

"Sorry. I was excited." he whispered, and I laughed.

"Are you sure the boys aren't going to come in?" I whispered.

"I locked the door." He says.

"Yeah, but I wouldn't put it past them to pick the lock." I say.

"I told them I'm having a girl over. Trust me Lil, they'll leave us alone." He smiles and I sigh, sitting on his bed.

This is the second time I've been over to the band house secretly to be with Dougie, and every time I feel guilty and nervous. He gets up and takes my hand.

"Look." He whispers showing me a picnic type thing set up on the ground.

"Aww." I say. This is totally not something I would expect Dougie to do, and I can guarantee he hated the process to prepare it. "Thank you Dougie." I smile at him and we sit down.

"So, the boys have planned another New Years party, if you want to come." He says.

"Yeah." I say, soon realizing, that was against Fletch's rules, and I just agreed to it. And if that's not bad enough, I'm breaking the rules as we speak. I sigh. "Dougie...do you feel bad?"

"I would feel bad, but think about how Harry held back the fact he was dating Izzy. We don't have to feel bad." He says, taking a sip from his beer.

It was true. Harry and Izzy had been dating officially since just about the Royal Variety performance and hadn't told any of us they were until Christmas day, but that's besides the point.

"No, Dougie. I mean...we're breaking Fletch's rules." I say.

"We are?" He asks.

"Yes. We are." I say. "Fletch told me to tell him if you have girls over...because you aren't allowed to have girls over."

"But you're allowed over." Dougie shrugs.

"Yeah, as your manager. Not as your girlfriend." I say.

"It's one in the same." =

"No...it's not." I say.

"Lilly, why are you so worried? I mean...the boys bring girls in the house all the time. One time Danny brought a different girl home every night for a week." he says.

"Yeah, but those girls don't work for Fletch. You and me Doug? We're in this together." I say.

"Lilly, you don't have a reason to feel bad...so don't." He says.

"I do though." I say, looking down, but it's hard to feel bad when I'm genuinely so happy with Dougie. He takes my hand.

"Do you still feel bad?" He asks.

"Kinda." I say. He gives me a kiss.

"How about now?" He asks.

"I still kinda feel bad." I smile. He laughs and kisses me again. 

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